There is a saying that man and woman do not understand each other because they come from a different planet. The problem is much more grounded than this, fortunately it can be solved with a little help.
Women’s magazines sometimes give quite insane tips to fix our chilled marriage. They offer erotic toys, lingerie, pampering, but none of them talk about the reason for the departure. Though it may not be that the fire is extinguished, it is common that it is chills not in bed but at the table begins. Quite precisely in conversations.
Me, you, we
Everyone communicates. We like to believe that our message always goes through, but sometimes that’s not the case. The worst part is when we don’t get to the green branch with the person we love, we feel like we don’t understand us.
“In a relationship, there are three basic communication situations, the Self, You, and We. Communication between the two parties can only be effective if it is open we take on our own feelings and needs, but we also recognize the needs of the other. The essence of the message I am: what I feel and what I want. Many times we assume the other knows what we want, but that is only partially true. If we do not dare to take on our feelings, our desires, the dialogue can easily slip. When grievances come to the fore, it is common for the other’s behavior to be scrutinized. The accusation is TE communication. Then begin the sentences such that you did this or you just didn’tCoach Tilda Hegyi begins. Using only “You communication” makes it harder to reach a common goal.
Tell me what bothers you, what hurt you!
According to the expert, the cause of relationship conflicts is that the parties always expect change from the other.
“We must change ourselves first” – admits Tilda Hegyi. – “Most of the time we blame another, but am I wondering what I will do for the relationship? Do we confess to ourselves what causes the real tension? Let’s say what exactly do we want, if we have that, let’s take the time to see who, when, what needs to be done to make our collaboration more harmonious. ”
This it is difficult to do so objectively alone, since we are in its thicket. As an external observer, a coach can provide appropriate help. The goal is a common decision, “MI communication.” – we learned from coach Tilda Hegyi.
This is why most relationships end
Source: Napidoktor by napidoktor.hu.
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