You don’t have time for yourself ?! Here’s how to find it!

Faced with a huge number of requests, we often end up in a situation where we think we do not have time for some activities that would bring us joy and satisfaction.

Sometimes we have the feeling that we have no time for anything, except to do everything that “must” be done. We usually think that it is because we “live fast” or because it is “too demanding”, as if those two things are something that is somewhere outside of us and that we personally have no influence on them.

Katarina Krstić
Gestalt life coach i savetnik,
HR Consultant

The first thing that can help us to distinguish between cultivating such attitudes and the ability to take personal initiative to change circumstances, is to become aware of the formulations by which we define these categories.

The big difference is made by the fact that the thought – you live fast, replace it with a more precise definition of the situation through thought – I live fast.

It is quite certain that there are people around us who we could say “live slowly”, as well as those who are not exposed to too many demands. The reason for this is precisely that there is a difference between the statements – too much is being asked of people today, and testimony – today people demand too much of themselves and of life.

If we find ourselves in a situation where we think that we are being asked too much, it would be convenient to reformulate this thought so that we see where we ourselves ask too much and expect it from ourselves.

By trying to do as many things as possible and achieve as many goals as possible, do we voluntarily run out of the time we need to dedicate to ourselves, our development and our pleasures?

There is certainly no problem if we feel that fine balance when it comes to our distribution of energy and time, when we are satisfied, healthy, rested, energetic and efficient. In that situation, “there is no time”, can only be a good excuse not to agree to some activities for which we are not sufficiently motivated. However, if we really chronically feel we don’t have time for ourselves, if we feel tired, depressed, dissatisfied, and chronically uncomfortable, it’s likely that we’re not making good choices when deciding how to spend our time.

If we recognize that we are in such a situation, it would not be bad to monitor for at least one week what exactly we spend our time on, how much time we spend on each individual activity, what goals we achieve and how much it contributes to our general state of satisfaction and energy.

We can start with a group of important activities to which we are committed.

It includes all the things we do regularly, such as work assignments, homework, activities that arise from the various social roles we have, sports activities or some other related to our interests. When we compile this list, we can make an analysis during which we will ask ourselves whether we really need all these activities. Are there any of them who do not give a result or give a result that does not really contribute much to our happiness and fulfillment? And finally, which of them can we get rid of or reduce the time we dedicate to it?

If we are focused on following our trend of spending time, it is important to be very meticulous in monitoring. It is not enough to send only those meaningful large pieces of time that we spend on various jobs or specific things, but it is necessary to look at everything we do.

For example, the communication we have with people around us, which can be typical and monotonous or consist of inappropriate exchanges of information, attitudes and ideas about things we can’t influence, half an hour of turning over TV channels, or some other form of “wasting time” which we are not aware of at all because it seems to us that they do not cost much and because everyone else around us is obviously ready to pay this price. That is why it is important to try to identify these habits of “wasting time” and to make some decisions about them. We can ask ourselves what they use for us, do they really give good results and what could we do better for ourselves instead of them?

That is why it is important that when we make this list, we mark this type of activity as a special category in connection with which there is a great potential for saving time.

We can give it a name – a waste of time or some other, closer to us personally, a name that will remind us of the true nature of this set of activities.

photo mariana-vusiatytska

The next important group is the activities we have undertaken, and they do not have to be part of our responsibility. It is not bad to separate from the basic list, a special list of everything we spend time on, and someone else could take over. Then, analyze these activities and make decisions about them. Decisions need to be time-defined and realistic. For that, it is important for us to determine whose exact responsibilities are in question and what would be the adequate distribution in relation to them. In addition, it would be useful to know exactly how much time we would get.

With all this, it is important to be aware that everything that seems small is not so small if it is viewed as part of a larger whole and if it is combined with other possibilities. If we remove one activity from each group from this list, which lasts at least only 20 minutes, we can get that twenty-fifth hour that we constantly miss. At the level of the month, that is 30 new additional hours, at the level of the year we are talking about 360 hours or about 15 days, and at the level of one decade 150 additional days of focused, joyful, meaningful and fulfilled time.

Then all that remains is to find the answer to the question – what would we spend time on if we had one extra hour a day.

Source: Sito&Rešeto by

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