In the first episode of the home series I started watching, the boy said to the girl, “Just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean you’re smarter.” She replied, “Being a boy doesn’t mean you’re stronger.”
I laughed and thought – this is how it starts and continues. And let’s not notice. We ask ourselves and think about what means what and what, on the other hand, means or never meant anything. In addition to being asked again and again, we enter into partnerships with the burdens of the past, various.
These are, of course, the influence of upbringing and parental messages, previous partner experiences, among them painful and bad ones, irrational beliefs and myths about love, and prejudices about women and men. With all this, you will agree, it is not easy to enter into a new emotional connection. Because, all this makes it quite difficult and makes us unconsciously make mistakes, play games, withdraw and sabotage ourselves or our relationship with others.
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Thinking about what (doesn’t) mean that you are a woman or a man, I came to the conclusion that, among other things, “she or I” situations often happen to women. Both through practice and privately, I have met many girls and women interested in busy men. And not only interested, but also very engaged in their conquest and appropriation.
On the other hand, only one client I worked with was in a relationship with a girl who was already in a relationship. And he repeated that experience. That, on is repeated. He didn’t like it repeated. We don’t feel anything happens. We happen to everything me. For men, “he or I” love triangles rarely happen because they are rarely chosen.
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I used to work with a client in my early thirties. She was alone and looking for someone who could match her and like her. Analyzing the free men she met, she noticed that they would be “busy rolling.” So at the time she was not in a relationship and about those who were not in a relationship she was also thinking that way. What did that say about her, then? That she herself was “not good” or that, on the other hand, she carried with her the uselessness that should have been (left)?
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As a society, we have come to the point that it is normalno i naturally that a woman conquers a man, “dresses” him, declares love to him, is always smiling and pleasing him, fights for him and a relationship or marriage with him, or is it enough tolerant, emancipovana i patient to wait for him to break up or divorce and finally choose her.
I do not want, of course, to say that any of the above is in itself “abnormal”, but to emphasize that it is interesting that it is mostly or exclusively expected of women and it is normal and natural, above all for them.
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Many women, extremely seriously and with awareness of all possible risks, choose and conquer men in emotional relationships or marriages, believing that success in these and such circumstances speaks in favor of their own value, desirability, uniqueness, attractiveness, interest or uniqueness.
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However, there will be no success. There will be no failure. It ends as it is possible and logical to end – not at all. But these women, considering that they think and believe what they think and believe, conclude that such as they are is not enough, this or that. Which, of course, has to do with their self-confidence, self-esteem, image and core self-belief.
If you don’t love yourself (enough), you don’t think that others can and want to love you, you don’t believe that love can be reached simply and easily, or you know that you also need to “struggle” and have learned to fight for love – you will choose complicated, difficult or impossible, impossible or forbidden, and with each subsequent experience you will strengthen yourself in what you think (know) and feel about yourself.
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You will spin in a vicious circle, until you choose to gather previous experiences and work on repeating the patterns. If a man notices or becomes interested in a busy woman, it usually and most often means that he does not want a (serious) relationship. Quite logically and close to common sense (and it is good for reason to be close, especially in the unreasonable), for men, a relationship with a woman with obligations is mostly a relationship – without obligations.
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The setting of things in their heads and hearts is such that it does not create an additional problem for them and leads them very well to what is desired and appropriate. It does not occur to the average man to prove himself by conquering the invincible. He seeks happiness in places where he can find it and after he finds it – he is happy.
You will often hear a woman, like Carrie Bradshaw, complain about a man’s exaggeration availability. To the fact that she is bored, unattractive and even extremely repulsive that he is (too) normal and with him everything is somehow slides and simply be happens. You will hear that it would be more interesting for her if it was at least a little warm – cold.
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All this is, again and of course, related to what has already been written – self-confidence, self-esteem, image and core belief about oneself, irrational beliefs and myths about love. And all this is, of course, related to everything related to the family of origin – the climate and atmosphere in the family, the nature and (in) quality of the parent-child relationship, the parent-child relationship, the messages sent by the parents.
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As a guest on a television show, the musician in his early thirties, among other things, spoke about his family and close relationship with his mother. Referring to the fact that she had all the responsibilities around the house, him and his sisters, he noticed that his father was a “classic landara”. The chosen words made me laugh. Only them. Not their background and essence.
Because, do you know about a woman who continues to live as a “girl” even after marriage, while her husband takes care of the house and children? Do you know of a married man who has no will to go to places where his wife will not go with him? For a man in a serious relationship or marriage, who patiently waits for his partner to “go crazy”, “live” and finally settle down next to him (and their children)?
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For a man who came from such or a similar family story? Unfortunately, I also know only about scenarios and family constellations in accordance with the expected and gender typical. In this regard, there is also a phenomenon that I reflect on in this column.
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Looking at their mothers, in our environment, girls learn to suffer. (Before all. From dissatisfaction to violence. On the other hand, these mothers, dissatisfied or in the position of a victim, build their daughters’ self-confidence and self-esteem in a completely wrong way – assuring them that the man in question likes them even when they are not, that some of his behavior is an indicator of interest. it is not that a busy man does not notice other women if he is satisfied with the relationship or marriage.
These mothers believe that, otherwise, they would disappoint and hurt their daughters, and send them a message that they are not good enough for a particular man, beautiful, desirable, attractive, interesting or whatever. These mothers, of course, have learned to value and value their value and importance in the context of a relationship with a chosen or desired man. Wives are also mothers, and only then women. Which they often forget they are.
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The question is, in fact, whether his a woman knows how to be at all only woman. Because if those women aren’t or don’t feel like they’re someone’s, it’s like they’re nobody’s. And no one’s wife is who she is only own. With such an attitude of things in herself and her head, a woman will, of course, teach her daughter to fight for a man and his affection, love, attention, fidelity.
Also read this: A love triangle with a friend
And then when he is emotionally unavailable, busy or physically far away. Many women should seriously work on the myths they believe in and the irrationalities they are guided by in love. As soon as possible.
Source: Sito&Rešeto by www.sitoireseto.com.
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