Why do we leave the ones we love?

However, certain patterns appear and we somehow try to find out what is behind them. A large number of human problems are based on whether and how successfully they can establish a relationship with a partner and how they maintain their love relationship in general.

Anđelija Simić, psychological

There is so much talk about a successful relationship, so much talk about love, and somehow it always remains an eternal question when we all bang our heads. Elusive, elusive. One of the constant questions is, ‘Why did he / she leave me?’ ‘

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Is love enough and if not, why not?

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We grew up, at least most of us, listening to fairy tales and watching Hollywood movies with hepi endom. It is explicit that both can overcome obstacles if love exists and that we generally do not leave the ones we love.

Is that really the case in reality? Hmmm… I wouldn’t say. In this text, I deal with one of the reasons why we leave those we love.

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Being left behind is hard in itself. Still, leaving it may be even harder. Taking responsibility for the final, crucial, sometimes irreversible step, which will leave a mark in our lives, carries with it a certain weight.

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Although the reasons for leaving can be different, one of the common reasons is the inability to accept the love of a partner to the extent that he needs it and thus satisfy it emotionally.

Sweet Ice Cream Photography

In many relationships, this has proven to be a key issue that has led to the inability to maintain a relationship. Most often across the street we have a partner who has significantly less capacity for emotional intimacy and love, and the difference between us is too great. The reasons for the reduced capacities can be many, which I have already written about in part in previous texts.

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On the other hand, the partner himself can be directly and indirectly aware of this difference, which can later cause feelings of discomfort, insecurity and inferiority and thus affect the “setting of the wall”, that is, the emotional cooling and rejection of love by the other person. .

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In practice, this appears as a famous sentence of clients where they say: ‘Well, I don’t understand what’s wrong, he just became cold and repulsive, as if something was bothering him / her?’ ‘

Photo of Kaci Baum

So, in a relationship, it manifests as a cooling of relationships and changes whose causes we cannot identify. Apparently. In fact, in a partner who has significantly less emotional capacity for intimacy, major emotional changes, conflicts and breakdowns occur, which most often result in abandonment or psychological play where conflict is caused, deception begins, outbursts of anger and thus ‘covers’ for their own. departure.

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For people whose conflicts are deeper, leaving can be sudden and unexplained. Degradation in terms of emotional capacities for intimacy, difficulties in establishing the same on a deeper psychological level cause us a basic doubt in their value, affect a poorly built identity (diffuse) and essential self-doubt, whether and how much we can be loved and how we can our love that we feel to surrender.

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Foto Drew Coffman

This is why it is difficult for some of us to accept ‘great’ love, ‘unconditional love’.

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If you think that you do not deserve to be loved or if you think that you are not essentially a person that others can love, if you doubt yourself, if you see that your partner asks you to retaliate, and you realize your helplessness, and then consequently that someone Who are you with, he is frustrated by your inability to return love at least approximately, will you stay in that relationship?

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It only reminds you of what you cannot be now. It’s starting to hurt. That pain of helplessness is getting stronger, so you sail together in a sadomasochistic relationship.

Photo Tim Stief

Such relationships are usually difficult relationships, however, for both partners, depending on their personalities, they can also be an experience that opens the eyes and leads to mature personality transformations. The dice have been rolled, and it is up to you whether to turn your experience into a win or a loss.

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With a lot of personal work, it is possible to achieve transformation and expand your emotional capacities, your understanding and perspectives, to become more empathetic. What matters is whether you want it.

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Leave, be left, but try to understand why you are doing it. Explain to yourself and to the person you say you love. Give yourself meaningful endings, to have new inspiring beginnings.

Source: Sito&Rešeto by www.sitoireseto.com.

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