Why can’t I say I love you to the person I love?


say i love you Sometimes it’s not as easy as it seems. Those two ‘magic’ words are not always pronounced with the same ease and each person needs her time to feel them and say them to the loved one. That doesn’t mean that do not feel love for the couple, but you have to know the causes so that it does not imply a distancing from the other member of the sentimental relationship.

Undoubtedly, one of the main causes that makes it difficult for someone to say I love you is the fear. This is something irrational and many times it is not even a real fear, but that fear of suffering usually makes it difficult to express feelings naturally.

Many times that fear comes after a painful breakup or infidelity that has made us suffer more than necessary. An unfriendly love affair can be a turning point for the next relationships we have.

In addition, there are times when that fear is caused by the insecurity to say that you love the other person ‘before time’. This usually happens at the beginning of a relationship when both partners are still getting to know each other. One of them may feel like saying I love you but doesn’t so the other may not feel pressured to say it if he doesn’t really mean it yet. That fear that the relationship changed by those two words it can lead to a blockage that in the short term can be even more detrimental to the health of love.

The difficulty in saying I love you usually encloses an irrational fear of suffering.Pixabay

Defense mechanism

Express love for someone or open your heart in one way or another It’s a risk you have to take. if we really want to be free when it comes to expressing our feelings, not only for a partner, but also for a family member or a friend.

There are people that they think they make themselves more vulnerable when they express what they feel or how they feel. But the expression of emotions should never be a source of weakness, rather it is a sign of strength, something that we must understand in order to be happier in all areas of our lives.

Sometimes it is thought that by opening your heart to another person, we give them greater power over us or that we thus show a sign of need for the other, but this is not the case at all. Say what we feel it gives us much more power since it makes us freer by trusting someone. If they then hurt us or take advantage of those feelings, it will not be our fault in any case.

There may also be a fear of commitment. There are people who feel ‘trapped’ in a romantic relationship and therefore are afraid to say that they love the other person. This fear usually hides that you do not really love your partner or that you are not ready at that time to have a formal relationship. The best in this case is be honest and talk about it with the other person to see if he or she wants the same thing or is looking for something else. The sooner you talk, the less suffering there is likely to be.

What if I am not reciprocated?

This is one of the great doubts that can assail us when we love another person. The fear of rejection is usually behind those people unable to say I love you. When you don’t know if that feeling is reciprocal, it is more difficult to show love with words, and it can make us have some shame when doing it in case the other person does not return us. But, why don’t you change the question to positive? What happens if we are reciprocated? There you will realize that if this is the case, you will be much happier and you will have had the courage to say it in confidence to the person you love.

a problem of alexthymia

The term alexitimia indicates in psychology the difficulty some people have in expressing emotions that are considered socially appropriate such as happiness or love. Other people may also have problems identifying their emotions, as explained by the professor in Psychiatry Peter Sifneos, who was the one who introduced this term in psychology.

It affects one in 10 people but it can be key when we are not able to express those feelings for our partner. the best is always go to a professional to help us to identify what happens to us to solve our problems or difficulties.

Try saying I love you with a letter or a song that you like.Pixabay

How to overcome your fears

Think of you. Self-esteem is fundamental to achieving our personal goals and can also be ‘trained’. Before saying that you love someone, think about how you feel and don’t go further thinking about whether at a given moment they will betray you or reciprocate in the same way. If it makes you happy to tell him you love him, do it without thinking about the consequences.

Tell him with facts. They say that words are carried by the wind and it may be true. Show him with facts that you love him, respect and care for the other person and make him feel comfortable and happy in your relationship. That way he will also know that you love him even if you have not yet been able to tell him with words.

Get over your fears. Jump in, take risks and you will surely win. Think that you have a lot to gain if you do what you feel, otherwise you may you feel more frustrated or with an anguish that will not bring you anything positive. Do not rush and only say those words if you really mean them so as not to generate false expectations in the other person. Having a feeling inside that you cannot get out will make it entrenched and make it increasingly difficult for you to express it.

Write, send a song… Sometimes that shyness is overcome by writing our feelings on a blank sheet of paper. Try doing it like this. It will be a surprise for the other person and without a doubt you will show him how much you love him. There you can show yourself as you are, using the words that come out of your head and your heart. Another idea is to dedicate a song that you like or that makes you think of the other person. It will be a moment of intimacy and complicity between the two.

Source: Vozpópuli by www.vozpopuli.com.

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