It often is a man who needs some kind of help, someone who encourages their helpful and overly caring nature. It can be an irresponsible and independent person to whom they constantly lend money, someone who constantly gets into trouble or is a kind of victim, a “broken type” so they have to take care of him. He may be addicted to drugs, alcohol, gambling or her attention – someone who needs to be “saved from himself”.
Some love addicts choose strong and dominant types who will take care of them so they can continue to be dependent on them without taking responsibility for their own lives. This choice of partner often supports the traditional image of marriage in our culture: a man who makes money and decisions, has an “important” job and career, and a woman (dependent and passive) who usually does not know how much a man earns, but she lacks nothing “. She does not make important decisions, especially without consulting him beforehand. She may have a job to which she is not so dedicated, or it may be “a job to have fun with something”.
Addict & Narcissist in passion
Narcissus is inaccessible because he is afraid of intimacy. Being unavailable, the narcissist always triggers a feeling of abandonment in the love addict. Narcissus obsessively deals with himself, while the addict looks at him with admiration (which is necessary for Narcissus to keep his idealized image of himself). The addict and the narcissist are opposites, and they arouse the worst in each other. It is possible that a huge passion will flare up between them.
In fact, the more passion and madness there is in a relationship, the more strongly the partners with their negative characteristics strongly arouse the atmosphere of childhood in each other.
Hidden signals – Dialogue between a woman (love addict) and a man
People who are hungry for love always start by looking for someone when they will love and since when they will be loved, and end up with a partner who can’t give it to them. This is not a coincidence, but the result of certain patterns of behavior during the partner selection process.
Here is a typical behavior of a love addict and recommendations on how NOT to behave when meeting a potential partner:
Ivana: Hi Marko, I haven’t seen you for a long time, how are you, what’s up?
Marko: I’m fine, I’ve had a lot of work lately. What’s wrong with you?
I: Nothing special, always the same boring life.
M: I’m so sorry to hear that. I believe that things will get better.
I: I hope so too, but it seems to me to be the story of my life.
M (trying to escape in a hurry): Well, I’m glad we met.
I: You’re always in a hurry. Let’s have coffee sometimes.
M: Of course, it sounds great.
I: This Friday?
M (hesitates): Well, yes.
I: Great! Where will we meet?
M: Where does it suit you?
I: I don’t care. Say place and time.
M: OK. Let’s go to cafe F, at 6.
I: Great. I’m really looking forward to it. Maybe after coffee we can go to the cinema.
Immediately after work, Ivana went to buy a new dress. She wanted to look great. When she got home, she immediately called her friends to tell them the “good news”, and as she drifted off to sleep, she fantasized about what her date with Mark would look like and how their relationship could develop.
Read also the article Women who love too much!
Ivana looks super well-groomed. She came to the cafe a little earlier. Marko showed up 20 minutes later than scheduled, dressed very casually. Ivana was worried (she was afraid she wouldn’t show up) and when she sat down she looked too relieved. To hide that feeling, she smiled nervously at him.
M: Sorry I’m late, I forgot on time.
I: Well, it doesn’t matter. I just hope you’re OK. I was worried about you.
Marko is a little surprised that Ivana is worried about him: I’m OK, I just had some other things on my mind and forgot for a moment that we had agreed. Sometimes it seems to me that I need a secretary to organize my time.
I: Oh, I’m a great organizer. Just tell me if you need help with anything.
Marko looks at her in surprise: Of course.
I: So now that you’re here, tell me how you’ve been since Wednesday?
M: Okay, just hard at work. That’s all. Between work, exercise and my friends, time passes quickly.
For the next hour, Marko tried to talk about relaxed and fun topics, while Ivana talked more in a more serious tone, telling him her life story (including her failures in relationships).
I: Well, shall we watch that movie we mentioned?
M: Yes. What would you like us to watch?
I .: I don’t care, I don’t have any preferences. What would you like us to watch?
M: I heard that the new action movie R is good. Is that too hard for you?
And (lies): No, it sounds great. And also, I am honored that the future film is my idea.
After the cinema, Marko follows Ivana to her car.
M: I had a great time today, thank you for suggesting a date.
I: Me too. We have to do it again soon. I am free at any time.
M: OK, I’ll get back to you.
Marko does not ask for her phone number, although he does not have it.
I: Great, but don’t you want my phone number?
M: Oh, yes, I forgot. I do not have it.
Marko takes the phone number.
I: Thanks for the great company, I haven’t had fun in centuries. Take care, you don’t want anything to happen to you.
M: Of course. See you!
I: I really hope so. I’ll wait for your call. I come home from work around 6, but you can call me anytime, late at night.
Hidden signals of a person hungry for love
I: Nothing special, always the same boring life. – Ivana is in the role of a victim. The hidden message is “I need someone to fix my boring life – I need you.”
I: I don’t care. Say place and time. – Ivana shows readiness to please by being overly helpful. She also shows that she does not have her own position or that she is ready to give it up very easily.
I: Great. I’m really looking forward to it. Maybe after coffee we can go to the cinema. – Ivana shows her impatience and need for control. He wants too much of everything and too soon and thus gives signals of insecurity and necessity.
Immediately after work, Ivana went to buy a new dress. He comes to see too well-groomed. – It’s okay to look good, but with this she shows her anxiety and the need to impress a man.
M: Sorry I’m late, I forgot on time.
I: Well, it doesn’t matter. I just hope you’re OK. I was worried about you. – Ivana shows once again how much energy and time she dedicated to this outing. This kind of concern would be in place later in their relationship, but on the first date, no. Ivana should be more worried about Mrko being so late for the first date.
I: Oh, I’m a great organizer. Just tell me if you need help with anything. – Ivana tries to impress Marko with her skills and excessive care for others.
By telling his life story right on the first date, he shows once again his impatience and need for control. If she has a nasty life story, she is in a hurry to tell everything as soon as possible, in order to see if Marko will reject her because of that (the fear of rejection appears early, already on the first date). If Ivana has a sad story, then her intention here is to manipulate Marko, so he feels sorry for her. If Ivana has an exciting or successful life, then she is trying to impress Mark.
Read the article Why we love too much!
M: I heard that the new action movie “R„ “is good. Is that movie too hard for you?
And (lies): No, it sounds great. – Ivana is again insincere and shows the need to please, instead of showing her personality and proposing a film to her liking.
And: And also, I’m honored since the movie is my idea. – Unnecessary. Ivana’s hidden message is her insecurity. I really want to go out with you at any cost. Don’t back down for the money. “
I: Great, but don’t you want my phone number? – Ivana does not allow Marko to take responsibility for whether he will contact her. She takes responsibility for herself, and the one that is not hers.
I: Thanks for the great company, I haven’t had fun in centuries… – Ivana clearly shows that she does not know how to have fun, that it is up to him to entertain her, and also, Marko may think that no one else is interested in going out with Ivana, so one may wonder why this is so.
I: Take care, you don’t want anything to happen to you. – This, by the way, can be a statement of a healthy and confident woman. But in the context of Ivana’s behavior, it may sound premature. She could simply say, “Hi, take care!”
I: I really hope so. I’ll wait for your call. I come home from work around 6, but you can call me anytime, late at night. – It’s really too obvious.
What kind of man is Marko?
If it’s Marko a healthy man, he will understand the hidden signals coming from an overly aggressive woman and that will scare him. She probably won’t get back to her. If Marko notices well, he will see that Ivana is overly anxious, impatient, overly helpful and compliant, aggressive or overly controlling and penetrating. Even if she doesn’t know how to read between the lines, she will surely feel that Ivana is too penetrating at one moment, and overly helpful at another. He won’t analyze, he just won’t like it.
If Marko is unhealthy, a very egocentric man, he will probably enjoy Ivana’s excessive attention and will want to see her again. His encouragement to Ivan will very quickly turn him into an addictive behavior. Maybe he is addicted too, if he is looking for someone to meet his needs.
If Marko is a man who exploits women, will immediately (from experience) recognize Ivana’s need to take care of others. He does not have to really understand this phenomenon or analyze the situation to understand how Ivana is a real “gold mine” to meet his needs. He will know that he will always be able to be right or that he will get everything he needs in a relationship, without having to try to give something in return.
If it’s Marko gingerbread man, he will immediately start a relationship with Ivan and be very charming until the relationship is established, when he will be free to show his grumpy and angry side of personality.
Source: Sito&Rešeto by www.sitoireseto.com.
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