“We educate in the long run” (Francesc Orteu)


Like any working mother, when I return home I want to satisfy the desires of the Kids and that leaves me time to take care of my needs. Poor time management is one of my disabilities. In the evening I find it hard to send them to sleep. They know it and play with it.

It happens in any house with small children …

But if the time we spend in the bathtub or playing becomes eternal, it can all end badly. When the moments dedicated to children are imposed, it turns out that the moments we adults need have no place.

And you mean it has solution, that? How do you do it?

Defining a time for each thing. And when appropriate, if necessary, it helps me to use a timer. That way the girls know that things are over and this encourages them to be more respectful of each other’s time.

The feeling of not having time is the source of many tensions.

I am a very active person and a hair too perfectionist, so sometimes I find it hard to let my daughters do things without my help. I often have to say “be patient”, “let them do it”. Maybe they will do it more slowly and make a mistake, but it’s important for their self-esteem to see that they can get by on their own.

What ways have you tried to implement at home?

I like to apply the principles of positive discipline, which is to understand that education is a long-term job. When I became aware of positive discipline, I was impressed by the motto of treating the child as you would treat an adult. This changed my perspective when it came to becoming a mother.

And how does it materialize?

The four Rs need to be applied: recognize, take responsibility, reconcile, and repair. It helps to train more respectful and responsible young people.

Conflicts with food, for example, how do you deal with them?

When my daughters don’t want to eat something, I ask them why, if they don’t like it or if they’re not hungry anymore. Whatever the answer, I think it has to be accepted because if I don’t accept it, the situation can lead to a struggle where we can all lose.

Carai. Do you mean that you are not too permissive?

I want my daughters to be connected to their body, as they were when they were babies and knew how to perfectly identify how far they wanted to eat. Now, they also need to know if they are hungry or not. I want them to savor the food, to enjoy it, and I don’t want to turn the time at the table into a war. Playing with food or being creative also helps create a relaxed atmosphere.

And do you find it necessary to ask them for responsibility in time management?

Cooperation and responsibility must always be encouraged. It is curious to note that when you ask a creature how much time he wants to spend watching cartoons and which one to read, his response tends to be more balanced than you expect. If you don’t perceive the situation as a power struggle and let it go, your decisions will tend to be sensible.


Source: Ara.cat – Portada by criatures.ara.cat.

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