Tonight, we get down to business: it’s the quarter-finals. Concretely, that means that several tests will follow one another until several candidates have won two passes to qualify. I want a Pierre-Sarah final, even if I think I’ll be disappointed.
The show starts off strong, with Stéphane looking at us straight into the camera, and promises us the arrival of“An international superstar”, a famous chef who comes to us from England … Oh no, don’t tell me they’re going to bring us Gordon Ramsay back?
Before discovering the identity of the mysterious chef, candidates are invited to taste a dish of his making. A dish that seems to have been designed to taunt insomniacs around the world.
I want to sleep on this dish.
Matthias marvels: “The flying carpet there, he was missing more than Aladdin.” It’s not a rug, it’s a Matthias pillow. But other than that, it’s quite enjoyable to see the candidates eating for once, and not cooking sweaty.
After this sleepy tasting, we finally discover the identity of the “superstar” chef. And it’s not about Gordon Ramsay, but … Professor Xavier. Crossed with Edna Mode.
The first test will be framed by this chef whose name seems to have been invented for an erotic novel (or a James Bond villain): Heston Blumenthal. Heston Blumenthal, a big billionaire boss and a little control freak, who will seduce an ingenuous with a poorly trimmed bangs and ask him to insert ginger in certain orifices. Or: Heston Blumenthal, a bloodthirsty cook who radicalized after losing half his face in a stewing accident.
When you start to write fanfics about the chefs of “Top Chef”.
But I digress. In addition to having totally the look of Bond villain than imagined, Heston Blumenthal is especially damn class. It is “Considered as one of the main figures of molecular gastronomy”, Stéphane tells us, and he is also the first to use liquid nitrogen in cooking. Cool! And above all, he speaks French with an accent absolutely charming.
The theme of his ordeal is «association impossible». A bit like red and pink, pizza and pineapple, or PS and green people.
In short, we will have to succeed in creating a surprise with ingredients that do not seem to go well at first. Fortunately, the chef has already chewed up their work, and prepared the associations of the different candidates.
The Covid in front of Macron’s deconfinement schedule.
Matthias comes across a banana-parsley combination, and lacks luck, he hates bananas: “I am anxious there”, he tells us. It’s 2021 Matthias. Everyone is distressed.
The young chef decides to make a flambéed banana with parsley pesto. Why not, but unfortunately there is a lack of a binder that allows the two ingredients to be assembled. As Philippe explains: “Yes, it’s like a dating application, at some point, if it matches, you have to create the meeting”…………… Ok boomer.
Suddenly, the guy crushes banana with parsley in a bowl, and that’s when in voiceover, Etchebest exclaims that Matthias “Is a high profile candidate”??? We should not have the same dish under our eyes. Then, Matthias gives us the dressage trick “big spot burst on the plate” and Etchebest looks at him as if the guy had invented a new vaccine.
Mostly it looks like baby vomit.
We move on to Sarah, who came across a mixture of Roquefort and dark chocolate. Not only is it a very stylish mix, but the candidate is super motivated. It’s really nice to see her confident in herself, after her hesitant debut. “Guys, I would like to get them there”: we are waiting for that, Sarah! Its dessert, a chocolate rice pudding with a Roquefort crumble, looks incredible and inventive – deso but it’s a thousand times better than Matthias’ marbled banana puree. It looks awesome, I want to bathe in it. Paul Pairet is amazed by Sarah, so are we.
Find someone who looks at you like Paul Pairet looks at Sarah.
Pierre, him, falls on the association asparagus-liquorice. We shudder with fear, but the candidate, who must have fallen into a power station when he was little, is still motivated: “I took asparagus. And then I took some liquorice. Haha! ” How does this guy manage to be so playful all the time? Has he been stung by a hyper optimistic spider? Is Xanax flowing in his veins?
His dish, with iodine and bacon to bind the tastes, looks very good. But Michel finds that something is missing, and there, inevitably, Pierre says: “Why not make a jelly?”. HAHAHA. To complete his recipe, the candidate therefore prepares a sort of jelly liquorice poo, it looks awful but ok.
When the person in front of you at the butcher orders seventy-two merguez.
Finally, Mohamed came across a mixture of strawberries and olives. Dared. The candidate decides to treat the strawberry like a tomato because “it’s red. It is a fruit. There are some glitches. “ Indeed, the logic is relentless.
As Stéphane would say, it’s time for tasting! Pierre, sacred boot-licker, made his title in English to please Heston Blumenthal. Matthias’ banana vomito, him, “It gives me great pleasure to eat”, explains Heston. Unfortunately, the chef finds Sarah’s rice pudding too compact, so Matthias, the banana phobic, wins the first pass. To underline the spectacular nature of this victory, Etchebest specifies that Matthias “Had a banana phobia”, to which Blumenthal responds “It’s incredible, it’s incredible”. It doesn’t take much for them to marvel anyway. Besides, does banana phobia count as a co-morbidity to get vaccinated?
The second event takes place at the Oustau de Baumanière, which is also said to have made an excellent first name as a hero of new eroticism – the Oustau de Baumanière, a young exiled duke with a shimmering blonde lock, who meets a very young peasant woman in an inn. pretty but not fierce.
But I digress again. Today, the chef who welcomes the candidates is … again Glenn Viel? After ten appearances on the show, does he get a free sandwich?
But the chef will not be alone. Next to him will be … again Heston Blumenthal, this time with dark glasses. Were there budget cuts or what?
The objective of the test: to modernize the lamb and the vegetable gratin. Yum!!
Matthias decides to make a “Mishmash” celery to replace the gratin dauphinois, it’s a bit like replacing the fries with carrot sticks but why not.
Sarah, who is not very comfortable with meat, plans to make her lamb “Between rosé and medium”, a bit risky bet. The poor candidate is entitled to a not very nice montage, which suggests that she does not smile enough, or not at the right time.
We then move on to a montage that plays back to us the 1,873,653 times where Pierre said «State Council». Hey fitters, why are you encouraging my burnout like that?
When we wonder if we will be able to resume a normal life in May.
Always as exhausting as a t-shirt “it’s only happiness”, Pierre laughs all alone because he wants to take his revenge on the first test, and remake an asparagus-liquorice mixture in his lamb. Luckily, Sarran manages to talk him out of it, although it honestly would have been fun. This little aside gives us twenty-eight seconds of respite, before Pierre starts to sing “There is sun and lambs laladilalala”. Kill me.
We finally move on to Mohamed, who is entitled for his part to a montage of all his most farted adages. Our favorite being “Do not look at the tree on which you are rushing”. FYI, I tried this at the driving school, it didn’t work. For the occasion, we are also entitled to some old extracts of Chloé, which reminds us how much we miss her. Unfortunately, the candidate admits to himself more and more frustrated to always be second in the competition, and compares himself to Poulidor.
Those under 55 on Doctolib.
We move on to tasting. Sarah narrowly missed the cooking of her lamb (yes, the lamb to the point was bullshit Sarah!), And the curse falls on Mohamed who still finishes second.
Finally, Pierre is the second candidate to collect a pass, which means that for the moment, no one has been qualified. How many events do you think we’ll have before one or one reaches the semi-finals?
Is Michel secretly a stoner?
Sarah, after burning the floor, she breaks the dishes. After his appearance on the show, we will have to rebuild the whole set.
“This moment of rest allows the meat that has been stressed by the heat to relax.” Hey, I too would like someone to let me rest like Mohamed’s roast lamb.
Heston Blumenthal: “For me the sauce I found emotional.” Sorry I can’t get enough of this acceng charmang.
Pierre prepares asparagus “Very cooked on the buttocks and very crunchy on the head”… I have no jokes, I just wanted to point it out.
We can see that Philippe Etchebest always commends himself for mistreating Matthias in the kitchen. Top.
Less celery, no more slow-motion shots of Glenn Viel and Heston Blumenthal playing ball with celery.
We note that Philippe Etchebest’s choice of pizza is “A queen mushroom tomato cheese ham”. So basic.
Source: Slate.fr by www.slate.fr.
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