This is how anxious people have sex

In America alone, 40 million people are affected by chronic anxiety, which can affect everything from libido to the quality of intimacy. A survey asked anxious people about how their illness is affected by their illness.

I can’t give myself to the moment

My anxiety is so severe that I can’t let go, I’m constantly wondering what my partner thinks of me, I’m definitely doing everything wrong. I love my girlfriend, yet I can’t really enjoy sex with her because my body is tense and my brain is spinning. I overestimate every move, so the whole act is awkward and uncomfortable, reports Good.

I can’t tune in to my partner

In order to get to intimacy with someone, I first have to be very open to them and connect so spiritually that I have only been able to get to the flesh so far in my life. I have to be very attuned to the other to have sex enjoyable, for me there is no quick ride, friendship with extras or an overnight adventure.

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In the meantime, I can only pay attention to whether I am good

Last time I tried to be spontaneous and I got together at a party with a very nice boy. In the middle of kissing, I was suddenly overwhelmed by anxiety and asked, “Are you okay with me?” She was completely shocked and puzzled at how she would still feel in the middle of a kiss? I was immediately ashamed of myself and became even more nervous. I didn’t know if we were moving too slowly or I’m pushing him to do well, and so on. I just wanted to know if I was good, but I totally ruined the whole thing, the magic was gone. On the other hand, if I hadn’t asked her, I would have started thinking all along that I’m definitely doing it wrong and not even enjoying kissing me. I hate that my anxiety spoils these moments.

I’m having a hard time

I always watch in amazement at the movies when the couple starts kissing and it immediately turns into sex because unfortunately it never happens to me. I get very excited, which doesn’t have a very good effect on my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for years, I really like and trust him, but I just can’t “get in the mood” so quickly. Because I’m anxious and my brain is running, it takes my boyfriend a bigger effort to “seduce” me and get to bed with me.

Sometimes I drink in front of it to calm myself down

I rarely drink, I’m not a big drinker, but it’s good before sex. My chronic anxiety is on a level of pleasure that needs something to relax me from. It has happened that a girl asked me why I needed alcohol before sex and it was that I joked, but now I can honestly say that I drink like anyone else: to relieve tension, but for me before sex unfortunately it is almost a matter of life. Anyway, I almost never want alcohol just before sex, but I have to pay attention to how often I drink it because I know this thing can easily slip out of one’s control.

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I cramp at what I look like

My body image disorder and anxiety go hand in hand and make my sex life very difficult. I am constantly excited about how I show naked and how my partner sees my body. In vain do they say I am pretty, desirable, they can never convince me.

Even during sex, I think about what will happen next

We have sex with the guy, good with him, nice, cute, but I can’t really enjoy it because I’m already wondering what’s going to happen after that. Questions like this revolve around me about how this will change our relationship, whether he will only use it for sex, whether he will call or disappear, whether I really like him, and so on. This internal tension is terrible and is often noticed by the partner.

Physicality puts pressure on me even when planned

As parents with many children, we are forced to plan for sex in advance, but because of my anxiety, I am already excited about these days. I’m wondering what to wear on, whether we’ll have enough time, nothing to intervene, or I’m not too tired. This, unfortunately, almost kills the desire out of all intimacy.

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Source: Napidoktor by

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