The new me after vaccination: The only drawback of the chip is dreams

I’ve changed since the first dose of the vaccine got stuck in my arm. I feel that I am looking at life from a new window opened in my head, that I am renewed. It’s like some kind of biological update.

For example, my Monday syndrome disappeared in an instant. As a writer or journalist, I shouldn’t have had this kind of syndrome. Every day means a working day in our profession. On the other hand, the weight of the Monday workday flew away, whether it was due to loyalty to the herd or the influence of social media. It was a good start to greet the same sun every day on a new morning, realizing that all the days are actually the same, the changing factor is the mood.

Among other side effects of the vaccine, I felt an increase in my ability to focus and grasp. I understand the chickpea without saying it, swallow it raw, and make the best deductions and arguments. I realized that I was as aggressive as a red-cheeked lump about to attend a school debate.

With this enlightenment, I immediately started researching language courses so that I could master a few more languages. The vaccine circulating in my blood gave me the motivation to get to know different cultures through people, cities and lives, not through the Google translation system.


The increase in my physical strength did not surprise me when the dose relieved the muscle pain in my arm. The woman who was lazy, bored and slacking before exercising left, was replaced by someone looking for new muscles. I became the person who carried two boxes of books to school and didn’t ask me if I were.

There is a noticeable improvement in my human relations as well. Meeting other people, talking, listening to their lives were also among my skills.

As the vaccine spread in my blood, I became a playful, sociable, hospitable person. I even got the courage to do my own comedy show, with the rapid activation of the comic cells in my brain. I am always open to serious offers.

I feel that I am ready for a new era thanks to my life, health, physical and brain power, which has been improved by vaccination. I might even devote myself to a fresh cause. It’s like crossing the Atlantic Ocean on a jetski.

When I reviewed the guide handed out by the health authorities after the vaccination, side effects were lacking in quick strength, depth in reasoning, stability in physical condition, and spiritual improvement.


I believe that they are hidden in order not to scare the citizens. After all, the vaccine designed to rejuvenate life, body and brain has a lot of opponents.

According to what I heard, after the second dose, invisibility, hearing sounds of different frequencies, talking to animals, high jumping, running intercontinental marathons in one breath, bringing the opponent to the künde, dominating all the Far East sports, especially kung fu, and speaking with distant friends without the need for a phone, thanks to brain waves, develop.

Oh, and a talent for humor!

Because the humor and the ability to laugh, which we lost so quickly, made us not human in pieces. If the vaccine is going to make us human again, I’m not against taking a dose every month. Did you say chip? If you lie sideways near the socket in the evening, it charges by itself, so don’t worry. The only drawback is that you dream that you are a very happy, bionic person.

So much for side effects.

Source: Cumhuriyet Gazetesi – Güncel by

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