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Emilia van Hauen has, in my opinion, misinterpreted the situation, but understood the spirit of the times correctly on 29 April.
Emilia van Hauen has happened to meet three women who have shaken her world. Three women who, even though they are in their late 50s, dress and make up like very young women. Emilia van Hauen was fascinated and repulsed at the same time and this ambivalence has brought her to the keys, where she here in Berlingske shares her dilemma. Emilia van Hauen is in doubt as to whether it is she who is prejudiced against the three women, or whether she joins the showdown with an antiquated notion of women’s value.
The conclusion becomes somewhat weaving, but after much thought back and forth, we must understand that the only essential thing is how one feels about oneself. If you have fun, it is perfectly ok to dress young, despite your advanced age. If, on the other hand, you are unhappy because you are fighting a constantly lost battle, then she hopes: »that you will soon discover what a fuckfinger to the male gaze can make for one’s feeling of happiness’. And here Emilia van Hauen captures the spirit of the times. The answer is a fuckfinger. How can it be otherwise in an age-frightened culture?
Emilia van Hauen has understood the spirit of the times, but in my opinion she has misinterpreted her experience of the situation. Because it’s not about the three women. It’s about every middle-aged woman in the three women seeing her own anxiety about not just getting old, but getting laughed at. Emilia van Hauen wonders if these women are oppressed because they struggle to gain value through their beauty, which becomes a parody because the beauty they strive for is inevitably linked to youth. But they are not just a parody, they are a mirror in which modern man can reflect and see his greatest fear. To be a parody of something we want to be but are not.
Perhaps the encounter with the three women is basically about modern man’s reluctance to be himself. An aversion to restrictions and letting go. And for everything in the world, we will not be old. We want and be everything we dream of, and if we can not, we give a fuckfinger to the others. And it’s sad. Instead, we should practice letting go without anger, without fuckfinger, and without wanting to be something we are not. As the old psalm says, “Teach me, O forest, to wither happily.” In other words, we must learn to strive for inner beauty – a beauty that is not greatly valued in the time we live in, but which needs to have a renaissance.
Helga Døssing Bendfeldt, parish priest in Sindbjerg church, Juelsminde
Source: www.berlingske.dk by www.berlingske.dk.
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