The man raked all the offers. Outdoor storage, kitchen and bathroom cabinets, even a bed base – all full of stuff. Coffee, oil, beer, shampoo, toothpaste, soap … I haven’t counted for a moment how much there is. I stopped counting coffee packets at 140. When I mention this to a man, he laughs. We have a small apartment, one child and space out. Moving to a larger apartment has dragged on because the desired family addition has not come (uterine death and miscarriage). Reasonable speech has no effect on the hamster and not even the fact that food products have due dates. I have even promised to hold a chat, but he rejects it.
The expert is responsible for:
Collecting GOODS can be a harmless way or an obsession.
At its worst, the home fills with mountains of goods and even becomes unhygienic, threatening health. Although compulsive collection has not been defined as a psychiatric disorder, it can be considered as one form of obsessive-compulsive disorder.
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There are many reasons for HAMSTRING. Objects can be associated with memories, they can bring security, they can be believed to be necessary one day.
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For some, goods have become part of identity, and therefore the idea of giving them up is haunting. A person does not always know how to specify the reasons in his own way.
There would seem to be a financial motive to your husband’s tendency. By buying discount products, he may believe he is saving.
PROBLEM The collection of goods can be considered when the person himself or his relatives suffer from it. For others, hoarding can be detrimental, for example, due to aesthetics and uncleanness.
Those whose hobby of collecting is unrestricted are likely to end up in the worst chaos of goods. For some, loneliness may be an integral part of that problem; objects that bring security and life content act as a kind of substitute for human relationships.
Suggesting THERAPY to your husband has not been a bad idea. Although the reasons for the excessive hauling of goods are not in the sciences
so far known, help is available.
Where the solution is found depends on the factors that sustain the Collector’s problem.
While the thought of change can be haunting, you can learn from that habit, as with any harmful activity – even to enjoy the cleanliness and clarity of your home, as KonMari’s enthusiasm a few years ago has shown.
However, THERAPY cannot succeed without your own motivation. Couples therapy could come into play for you, too, your husband’s tendency is already a problem
If he does not agree with the therapy, you could try to get him to agree on new rules of the game for the use of common space.
If he is annoyed by your way of justifying the need for change, you could suggest that he read writings about forced collection, home order, or more efficient housekeeping. Sometimes new ideas are easier to embrace from people you don’t know personally.
THIS IS FORWARD
➤ RECOMMEND therapy for your husband again – pair therapy could also be a good option.
➤ TRY to get him to work with you on new rules of the game for using the common space.
➤ READ the topic and discuss it.
Source: Hyvä Terveys by www.hyvaterveys.fi.
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