But hey, that is old woman talk from an elderly man for whom it is too late to let the bags under the eyes suck. They are therefore epic. In the mornings, they are as fat as those of Horst Tappert, the actor who played Derrick in the German krimi of the same name in the 1970s. Then I look in the mirror and mumble: “Harry, fetch the car”, After which the laugh lines appear automatically.
Spoiler alert: my only experience with a cosmetic makeover is that the bags under the photo above this part have been shopped away. I’m sorrybut it is the truth.
Nothing is what it seems. If you soon see Dave Roelvink or his brother Donny on television, dim the screen before massive blindness strikes. On social media, they laughed at their teeth, filed to the bone, in anticipation of porcelain facings. They had this installed in Turkey by an installer not affiliated with the Bovag to reduce costs.
Even greater danger
When they return home they have to be quarantined for two weeks. I don’t know if that’s because of corona. That could be because those cheap fake teeth are Chinese-made. However, it could also be that the teeth are so dazzlingly white immediately after installation that Dave poses an even greater danger to other road users.
One thing I know for sure: if you put Dave, Donny, Gerard Joling and all those other Dutch celebrities together with a Chinese smile and you tell them a good joke, they can light up a medium-sized city.
The clean appearance of botox treatments, fillers in the lips and porcelain teeth strangely contrasts with another trend. This week the new Lidl clothing line is in the supermarkets and it is storming. We are talking about white socks, shapeless T-shirts and brightly colored plastic slippers; basically everything that goes against good taste and everything prominently features that spiteful logo.
Bad taste is fashionable
The German big grit’s bad taste is embraced by our youth. In this way, we will of course never get rid of that penultimate place ‘worst-dressed Europeans’. That is not the intention, I understand. Bad taste is fashionable. Anything ugly is cool.
McDonald’s ‘brand clothing’, the Aldi, the Febo and the Zeeman are also extremely popular. I do not understand that. In my early childhood, my mother always dragged me to the Zeeman and elbowed her way through the crows that swarmed around the bargain sale. There she fished out such an itchy woolen tights. I can tell you: I may have been a toddler, but a woolen tights seriously contradicted my budding fashion sense.
Anything ugly is cool. It is a glimmer of hope for a piece writer who threatens to lose the fight against gravity.