Ternström: The worst waste I’ve ever heard of – Chronicles

“He writes a blank check at the beginning of the week, then he does not want to be bothered by having to talk money during the week.”

”Hot wings. Yes? Now?”

This is a chronicle. This means that the content is the writer’s own opinion.

Now it’s story time. You need to sit down, because it will be shocking, on the verge of disgusting. If you missed the cost of owning a Ferrari 488 Spider I wrote about a few months ago, you should stop reading here. Are you curious? Read on.

Here comes the worst waste of money I’ve ever heard. We’re going to Forte dei Marmi off the coast of Tuscany, summer 2018. But first I want to introduce my friend Pietro. He is a VIP concierge on the Italian Riviera, with Forte dei Marmi as his base. He is the king of the Riviera and helps the world’s economic elite with exclusive villas, expensive rental cars and fat yachts. July and August are a spectacle of consumption and Pietro is the spider in the web.

One of Pietro’s best customers is Japan. We can call him Mr Kawasaki. He is a real estate king in Tokyo and has as much money as he can spend during the only vacation he has. One pitiful week a year he treats himself, and then everything should be on top. No expenses spared. Mr Kawasaki writes a blank check to Pietro on arrival, then he does not want to be bothered by having to talk money during the week. It is under his dignity. He does not want to be disturbed by such insignificances.

Let’s start with the yacht Pietro had rented for the Japanese. It was 140 feet, or 42 meters. It had four luxury cabins and a master suite. A total of four floors high with lounges and several large patios. Of course a sauna and a couple of whirlpools. There was also a garage full of toys such as jet skis and diving equipment. The crew consisted of seven people.

The cost of the boat was 140,000 euros per week. To this was added VAT, fuel, crew and all consumption. Things like catering, cooking and above all the insane amount of alcohol Mr. Kawasaki and his two Japanese friends poured in.

At the end of the week, after a particularly wet afternoon in the hot tub, Mr Kawasaki was tired of all the Italian delicacies that arrived with the tender. He no longer wanted to eat frutti di mare. Instead, he wanted Kentucky Fried Chicken. Sitting in the whirlpool with a glass of champagne, he explained in crunchy English, very politely, that he and his friends wanted their own bucket of hot wings for dinner.

“Mr Kawasaki, there is no KFC restaurant in Forte dei Marmi. The closest one is in Florence. It is an hour away by car”, svarade personalen på båten.

“Hot wings. Yes? Now?”, The Japanese replied with a shy smile.

It was now quite clear that the dinner of the three Japanese must be fried chicken wings. And nothing but KFC would work. They called Pietro. Explained the situation. Mr Kawasaki was tired of Italian food and immediately wanted hot wings delivered to the boat.

There was only one solution. Pietro contacted the nearby Cinquale Airport. He rented a helicopter with a pilot. When he arrived at the airport, the engine was already running hot with the rotor spinning.

Exactly 22 minutes later they landed in Florence. Specifically in a parking lot outside a giant shopping mall called I Gigli. Pietro hurried into the mall and bought three large buckets of hot wings, before rushing out to the waiting helicopter just as quickly. A considerable number of curious people had gathered around it. I have no idea how they managed to get a landing permit in a parking lot. However, anything is possible in Italy – if you are a billionaire.

Half an hour later they arrived to Mr Kawasaki’s yacht. There was no helicopter plate on the boat. It was too small. Instead, the pilot hovered over the stern of the boat while Pietro winched a plastic bag of fast food to the boat’s staff. The chicken wings were still warm. Just like the Japanese wanted them.

However, the boat’s staff noted that Mr Kawasaki and his friends were now asleep. They might have ingested too much champagne.

The chicken wings were set on the living room table if they woke up. They did not. They woke up early the next morning, and had completely forgotten the order the night before.

Pay? No problem. The total cost for the whole week was just over two million kronor. The chicken wings cost exactly 13,048 euros. 13,000 euros for the helicopter and 48 euros for the food. Which was thrown away.

Source: Senaste nytt från auto motor & sport by www.mestmotor.se.

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