Tantrums: Causes of problems and solutions

We are sure that there is no mother in the world who has not had experience with tantrums or outbursts of anger of her child, which is manifested by screaming, crying (without tears), throwing on the floor, and the cause is mainly that the child did not get something he imagined at that time. . Tantrums are the emotional equivalent of summer storms and downpours, and just like storms, it comes suddenly, ravages and passes quickly.

Children between the ages of one and three are most prone to tantrums and this usually has nothing to do with manipulation because toddlers are still not mature enough to know that. During this period, children understand much more than they can say, and then emotions and dissatisfaction are usually shown by tantrums.

How to deal with tantrums

Don’t lose control. This is certainly the most important, but also the most difficult item of this whole process. Tantrums are not a bad situation at all and can include throwing things, hitting, throwing on the floor or in more extreme cases holding your breath. At that moment, it is unlikely that your child will listen to what you have to say to him, it is more certain that he will react even more negatively to your noise and threats.


The best way to deal with tantrum is to simply sit and be next to your child, by no means leave the room and leave the child just because he might feel abandoned. All those emotions that overwhelm the child are very frightening for him as well, and if you leave him at that moment, fear will awaken. Experts say that it would be best to take the child in your arms, if possible, try to comfort him and say that everything will be fine.

Remember that you are an adult in the whole story. No matter how long the tantrum lasts, try not to negotiate or make unreasonable demands. This is a special challenge if you are in a public place and you just want everything to stop as quickly as possible because you are uncomfortable, but try to be persistent. Try not to think about what others will think, because all parents must have gone through the same situation at least once and they will understand you. After all, your child is already scared enough to lose control of their emotions, imagine how they will feel if they notice that you have also lost control. If a child gets into the phase of starting to hit or throw things at other people, then just take him and put him in a safe place. If you are at home, let it be the child’s room and let him know that you will stay there until the tantrum stops. It is also important to be with the child until he calms down.

Talk to you later. When the situation calms down, then it’s time to talk about what happened. Try to explain in words to the child what happened and why he had a fit of rage. Show him that once he manages to express himself, everything will be much easier and simpler. With a smile, tell the child that you are sorry that you did not understand him.

Try to avoid tantrums. Try to anticipate situations in which your child may lose control and try to anticipate them. If you know that a child usually has fits of anger when he is hungry, then be sure to bring a snack with you, wherever you go. If you have noticed that he gets angry when he switches from one activity to another, then warn him in a calm voice when it is time for a change. Always let him know that you will soon have to leave the playground because it is time for lunch or dinner, do not take him away abruptly.


You have to be aware that even small children crave independence and that is why it would be good to always offer the child to choose between two options, not to impose anything on him. Keep track of how often you say the word no. If you speak it automatically, then you are exposing both yourself and the child to unnecessary stress. Try to relax and consider whether you are the cause of tantrum. After all, will the world fail if you stay on the playground a little longer or if the child wears torn socks.

Watch out for signs of stress. Although tantrums are the most normal occurrence in most children of kindergarten age, it is important to pay attention that their cause is not hidden behind some stress to which the child is exposed. Think about whether everything is fine between you and your partner lately, whether you are more nervous than usual, whether you are busy because tantrums can be a reflection on your behavior and nervousness.