Can you imagine your sexual intercourse as a journey that lasts, flows and ends when you want it to? There are no shortcuts to the goal, because you want it to last as long as possible and be nice. To enjoy all your senses.
Such a trip would come in handy for many, and sometimes goes smoothly in fantasies, but in practice, especially if you have a lot of responsibilities, children, caring for parents or have a demanding partner, it is more like a “catapulting” of yourself to the goal called orgasm. otherwise something will interrupt that main pleasure.
Just as you can encounter barricades, traffic jams while traveling, so interruptions are certainly a normal thing in sex.
It happens that the pose is not appropriate, you did not turn off the TV, the child woke up or you need to go to the toilet again.
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However, the problem arises when a person does not show readiness (or simply does not know how or does not want to) to amortize all these distractions and put them where they belong, but often identifies with it and loses the initial enthusiasm we had when we were teenagers, so, with the help of hormones, everything was sexual for us, because there were no other worries and burdens.
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Adults often “catch” sexual opportunities, so they see that it reminds them of what they had before. Mostly in the world we live in, everything has been reduced to an instant orgasm, if possible.
Apart from external disturbances, in the form of a child’s crying, or someone is in another room, or the partner’s time mismatch, it is worth paying attention to the internal mechanisms that further determine the sexual journey.
When the excitement stops, or it doesn’t even start, because it hates us, we are tired, we sleep, or we are afraid that everything will turn out, then people get upset because that shouldn’t happen, they thought.
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Who would want to see themselves lose their excitement, and it should intensify, or see their partner cool down while trying to do the right thing?
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Those things hurt, because we want ecstatic experiences in sex, confirmation of our value, love, attachment. It gives us security, confidence and confirmation that everything is OK.
When sex is not like imagination, when opposite things happen, then we suffer, we become dissatisfied with ourselves or our partner, and some even think about breaking up.
Can any trip go without any interruption, delay or short break, and if such a trip exists, is that what can really fulfill you?
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The sexual journey can also have its oscillations, sometimes the pace is slower, sometimes faster, and sometimes there is a break. Every aspect of that journey can be beautiful and very significant.
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If you have in your head that only an orgasm (and only through sexual intercourse) is acceptable, then you will chase and probably reach it, without special charm and pleasure. Repeating such a scenario may satisfy you for a while, but would you like to travel like that all the time, or would you still agree to a slightly different course?
Play that journey, sometimes you don’t reach the goal as you imagined (as if you slept halfway in a nice cottage), sometimes you just kiss, cuddle, hug, and sometimes talk about what is happening inside you in those moments , when there is some blockage in you.
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The latter is very useful for everyone, and especially for people with sexual disorders, because they often choose to remain silent about what they think or feel in those moments.
Honestly sharing your inner world with your partner reduces anxiety and opens a new, more passable path for true sexual enjoyment.
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This new path requires trust, which is gradually created when we consciously allow other, different experiences to enter our lives. Let us be brave, aware and careful to choose things that free us from unnecessary discipline, and not further capture us.