Self-esteem can also be developed as an adult, as the brain is a formative organ – this is how you train your self-esteem for the better!

Yes, I don’t open my mouth if I have to speak languages. And at a party I don’t Sing when I’m so bad… It certainly sounds familiar, because there’s always someone among us who is ashamed of themselves or grieving their miserable self-esteem.

Many can list the reasons for their low self-esteem and name the most embarrassing experiences of their lives. But few realize that their self-esteem can and should be developed.

The brain is plastic. They change when things start to be done in a new way.

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Five minutes a day is enough

In the brain, perceptions arise from the pathways formed by nerve impulses and the neural networks that weave pathways. Self-esteem is a way of thinking about yourself and connecting things to this whole. If thinking changes, the changes are reflected in the brain as physical and chemical reactions: new connections and neural networks are created.

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You can concretely “train” your brain by starting to think in a new way. Many research results show that even five minutes of daily exercise can affect your own well-being. The subject of scientific research has been ordinary, randomly selected people, not a special group. If they are successful, others can change their perceptions of themselves.

Unearth the strengths

If you think your self-esteem is not very good, add the word “yet” after it. Start working on a project called “Positively About Me”.

Start by making a list of your own strengths. A list of at least 10 different items is needed. If it’s hard to make a list, remember what you’ve been praised for. What do you like to do? You’re probably pretty good at it.

Ask loved ones to share their opinions about your positive aspects. Read the list aloud to different people and make it visible.

How does it feel to read the list aloud? Stupid or troublesome? Oh yeah. You are the very Finn!

Modesty and avoidance of presence are features that have been valued in Finnishness. Emphasizing oneself and bringing out one’s own needs has been seen as selfishness or self-love.

Proverbs were practiced in education, warning against over-desire: “Every six reaches out, it kicks the juniper”.

Do you measure success?

What exactly is self-esteem? Social talents, fluency and pride in your own skills? Perhaps a more descriptive word would be self-confidence, that is, belief in one’s own abilities.

He who has a good self-esteem dares to think about what kind of life he wants to live himself. Do you want to cook jams because you have to do it, or really for your own pleasure?

One can be at peace with oneself and very content, even if one is living a modest life outwardly. And on the other hand, man may be externally successful, but the inner world is like a battleground.

Good self-esteem means a sense of self-worth. A person with good self-esteem, respects himself, accepts himself, knows his own strengths and weaknesses. He is confident that he will survive and succeed.

Embarrass your inner critic

But what to do if you think you are bad or worthless? The thinking of negative perfectionists is black and white. If I don’t succeed perfectly, I’m completely bad. It lacks flexibility.

The self-critic always hears a rebuke instead of a praise inside his head: “Now it doesn’t matter that you go to the gym every week – those others compete in bikini fitness or weightlifting.”

The comparison cannot be avoided because the mind does it automatically. However, it is better to take your own abilities as a point of comparison. Pay attention to where you were when you started. Notice even the slightest progress and thank yourself for it. The harsh self-critical voice often comes from the past, for example from parents or bullies.

Fortunately, the voice of self-criticism can be influenced. Give the voice a name, such as Judge Totinen or Veikko Appellant. It can give a distance. And learn to recognize when that voice speaks.

Do the exercise: record your thoughts

In order to improve your self-esteem, you need to know what thoughts and perceptions your self-esteem consists of.

  • Write down for a week what kind of thoughts you have thought about yourself. Read them carefully. Group your thoughts. How many are positive and how many are negative?
  • Questionable. Is everything true? Identify distortions of thought, such as generalizations. They are often accompanied by the word “everyone” or “always” e.g. thoughts “all people hate me”, “I always mourn”.
  • Look for a more constructive idea. For example, “Some people like me – at least sometimes.” Write it down. Repeat the thought and explore your feelings. Customize it to your liking.
  • Read more constructive ideas or do something new, for example, “I’m pretty good at being a person this age”. Laminate the “powerhouse” or paint it into a table.

Choose your club

Listen carefully to what is being said around you. Are your loved ones or co-workers encouraging and encouraging, always ready to look for positive solutions? Or is there a group of appellants around you who are looking for mistakes in others and themselves?

Your self-esteem may be covered up with an environmental loan throw. When the mirror is cloudy, you will not see your image clearly.

A good way to take care of your self-esteem is to seek out a more encouraging group. Visit a cafe with happy people, chat in the ice cream queue with nice guys. You may be surprised at how much a smile and funny slander raises your self-esteem. There is nothing wrong with you.

Experts: Marja Taimisto, Psychologist, Psychotherapist, and Ronnie Grandell, Psychologist, Nonfiction.

This article appeared in Good Health. As a subscriber, you can read all numbers free of charge from the service.

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