Review | Saints Row would be lost without its swinging giant dildos

Volition has brought back Saints Row in a revamped and unfortunately also watered down version. The open-world action adventure has been left out of giant dildos and a large part of the rest of the mess, but unfortunately no other content has been brought in to replace it, which manages to hold its own.

Publication date: 23 August 2022
Studio: Volition
Publisher: Deep Silver
Available: PC (tested), PS4, PS5 & Xbox One, Xbox Series X|S
Players: 1
Age limit: 18
Game played for review: about 10 hours

Published in 2013 Saints Row The fourth part of the series took the players to fight against aliens from outer space. The game, in all its wildness and stupidity, was certainly not to everyone’s liking, and its humor would not necessarily fit today anyway. Thus rebooting Saints Rowie was a good idea in itself.

From the beginning, it was clear that the new coming of Saints Row would not be nearly as badass as the previous parts of the game. Unfortunately, no new hook was invented to replace the absurdities, but the new Saints Row is a generic and boring open world action adventure that can fit 13 dozen.

At the beginning of Saints Row, the player gets to create a character for himself. The comprehensive character editor is one of the best aspects of Saints Row, as it offers very extensive customization options. Whether you want to play as a green Shrek man, a spiky-haired and red-skinned gangster or just an ordinary person tailored to your own taste, everything is possible.

Saints Row

The created game character becomes part of a gang with his companions, which also includes Neenah, who works as a mechanic and driver, Kevin, who pursues a career as a DJ, and Eli, who develops the future of the gang with a business-like attitude. The characters have become criminals out of necessity and for various reasons, and at the beginning of Saints Row, it takes a stand on sensitive topics of American politics, such as accumulating student loans and health insurance.

The conversation between the four characters is sometimes fun to listen to, but overall the story of Saints Row leaves you cold. In many parts, the story is predictable without any major hooks or surprises, and the political topics are not dealt with in depth in the end. The new Saints Row tries to fill the humor vacuum created by removing the crudest jokes with various means, but mostly the jokes only make the player snort a little.

Also, playing itself won’t save the new Saints Row. Whereas in previous Saints Row games the weapon selection has been very original, the reboot will mostly use traditional weapons such as assault rifles and shotguns. Even in these, the choice is poor, and at least I ended up using the assault rifle available at the very beginning as my main weapon almost the entire time I was playing.

The game character does have certain special abilities, such as a move with which the character sticks a hand grenade into the enemy’s pants and then throws the enemy into the middle of other enemies. The player can also cancel gravity from a small area and launch a group of enemies high into the air. However, even these do not make the fight particularly fun, but the genericity and the weak feeling of the shooting make the shooting difficult. The battles repeat each other badly and the struggle quickly starts to feel like a forced bun.

The enemies’ artificial intelligence is also at a poor level, and at worst the enemies don’t even notice the player standing next to them. The game is also widely plagued by more or less serious bugs. For example, graphics and physics bugs are encountered often, and sometimes it became impossible to progress through the entire game without reloading, when, for example, a car meant to be destroyed refused to explode at all.

The shooting is counterbalanced by driving around the open game world. The feeling of driving is reasonable in itself, the scenery is nice in some places and there is a good number of vehicles available. Unfortunately, however, there is far too much going from point A to point B, and driving around in an empty game world for a long time is numbing. The player can stop on their way to a side mission, for example, but they mostly don’t offer anything very exciting either.

Saints Row may have been rebooted, but the open world game has still stagnated in many respects to the level of a decade ago. The game mainly repeats mediocre shooting, dry joking and long drives, and there is not really any element that can support the whole. It’s kind of a relief that swinging giant dildos have gone down in history, but nothing new has been introduced to make Saints Row stand out from the crowd.


Rating: 2/5

“Saints Row is not as raucous or as stupid as its predecessor. Now all that’s left is a boring open-world action game that can hold 13 dozen.”

Source: by

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