MUSIC – the primary language of love: The strongest sudden reactions in us are usually triggered by sounds

At the first notes of a well-known melody, we can instantly experience an emotion, revive a picture or smell a scent. Sound is a vibration that instantly moves and connects our experiences to the present moment.

Aleksandra Golubović, psychologist and psychotherapist of transactional analysis
Aleksandra Golubović, psychologist and psychotherapist of transactional analysis

The beginning of words is in music. Baby speech, apart from being devoid of words, has a completely different frequency and melody than the speech we learn when putting letters together. Although unintelligible through the system of learned words, baby speech is understandable at the level of emotion and it is unlikely that we will not be able to respond and please our cooing interlocutor! Without a single meaningful word, our interlocutor and we empathize with each other.

Does this mean that with the development of speech and the richness of vocabulary, we develop the ability to more easily express compassion and empathy?

With words, we are taught to express what we think, want and feel. With words, we learn to check our own experiences, the emotional experiences of others, express compassion and empathy. How successful we will be in this and whether our rhetorical style will be sufficiently comprehensible, likable, clear, rich, mostly depends on how we have learned to recognize our emotions and whether we express them adequately.

What happens when we run out of words or realize that they are not enough to understand each other?

What if we are faced with the fact that the emotion we feel is so strong and deep that we do not recognize in the dictionary of well-known words a way to adequately describe it?

Words are certainly important tools of the mind with which we have learned to communicate with others and with ourselves.

How much does our lack of words sometimes limit us from experiencing and indulging in deep emotional experiences that exist in us even before we learned to express them with speech?

Are words always necessary to explain an experience?

Maybe sometimes we use them as post cards with which we convince ourselves that only if we deftly describe and explain reality, only then do we exist in that reality. Are words the most important way to our feelings, ourselves?

“A molecule of our DNA in an aqueous solution has a continuous sound, it emits some sound. It produces a complex melody with repeated musical expressions. The melody sounds nice, it’s interesting, it’s a very interesting phenomenon in itself.” – Petar Garjajev, President of the Institute for Quantum Genetics, Scientific Director of Wave Genetics Inc. (Canada, Russia)

Research that studied brain activity while listening to music found that numerous brain regions are active on that occasion, the traffic in the network of neurons becomes dense and exciting.

When listening to music, a special activity was recorded in the part of the brain that is normally the center for praise and reward, and the same center also plays an important role in the experience of pleasure and addiction.

Music also activates some brain regions that are activated by speech, but significantly more than speech, music activates the centers responsible for motivation and emotions.

One gets the impression that we were born with the basic condition to be joyful! We have our own melody written in the DNA chain that stimulates the brain centers that are responsible for will, activity, pleasure, the experience of personal worth, all of which together develop a healthy addiction to self-love.

It seems that the melody, produced by our DNA, is like a record that makes us oriented towards ourselves and the world we are beginning to know.

Our primary channel through which we initiate communication with the world around us, which develops through cooing, chattering, speaking, singing.

What happens when two melodies meet?

Let’s assume that in accordance with the psychological concepts of creating a partner relationship, each of the melodies, in addition to being generated, should remain harmonious and harmonious for itself.

However, in order for two melodies to communicate on an emotional level, the surprise factor is important, which, if it turns out to be mutually pleasant, continues with a systematic violation of the expected pitch, tone color, rhythm, tempo, maintaining the experience of pleasantness, attention, excitement.

Just what we call groov implies smaller, usually rhythmic deviations. Groov it does not depend on what is written down, but represents the specificity of the moment of the performer himself, that is, the performers themselves.

Listen to your melody because it is your language of love, which only when translated into words becomes understandable!

A wonderful example of the richness and supremacy of music over words! Hans Zimmer knows that beginning and duration are in rhythm.


If you want to arrange consultations with Aleksandra, individually, via Skype, send her a message at the e-mail address: [email protected].

Source: Sito&Rešeto by

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