Michal Dahlia Advisory: What does the child feel when his two parents divorce?

The relationship of a couple of parents I know more closely has come to the fore lately. Therefore, a situation is created that they live together in the same house with their children, but the communication between them is no longer of a married couple. In addition, one of their children is very much related to the father of the family, and should the couple divorce, the child chooses on his father’s side, a move that may weaken the mother-child relationship. What would happen if the two divorced? How will the child cope with his father’s partial absence to which he is very attached?
“If the couple gets divorced, the child will eventually have to get used to his new life. We must not forget that we determine the lives of the children, and make decisions like marrying, divorcing, moving an apartment, relocating, quarreling or dealing with an economic crisis. “

“We remove older people’s decisions from their daily lives, and it forces them to learn to live within our decision-making outcomes. Initially, the child may cry as a result of the longing for his father, and if they honestly reflect on him he misses. Children get used to their realities of life and are usually more comfortable with them. With one parent or the other, but in the end, the parents decide about them.The child will be good with his mother too, and over time children learn to live with longing, even in more dramatic situations sometimes, not just in divorce.One of the things that children must rely on is that the children have the ability to cope. The changes have effects but children grow up. ”

I am the mother of two sons, the big six and the small three. They are both very smart, they are many at times, but their connection is good and they sleep together in the same room. My little son is unusually naughty. Especially at nights, when it’s time to go to bed, he goes wild, moves the bed and interrupts his brother. My husband and I are unable to control him. When it is evening, we feel the nightmare begin. That way every day. How do you stop this circle?
“It’s a familiar phenomenon. The little boy was not born to the same family that the eldest was born to, but your older children made you parents. He was the only child in the house for three years until his brother was born. Your eldest son was born with a comfortable temperament, and the little one born into a completely different family had no personal time of his own at home, he was born beforehand to have someone else in the house. So the little one thinks in his mind that if there is a calm child at home, he should be unique. Children are looking for how to differentiate themselves beyond being born different people with a different temperament. Your little boy is born much more lively and playful, begins to be treated for his mischief, and then unknowingly, unconsciously and with no hurry, he goes on like this more and more because it activates you. “

A boy makes a mess. Illustration Illustration: Ing Image

“As soon as you wake up and put anger in, anger becomes much more powerful. On the one hand, the kid is smart, creative and vibrant, but on the other hand takes those traits in the direction of making you angry, as if he wants to prove to you that he is naughty and that is his way of activating you “To dispel these behaviors, you have to do something different. I recommend that you go to parent guidance and understand how to get out of such a power struggle, and it will be quick because he is only three.”

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I am the mother of a three-year-old, and she has recently had severe temper tantrums that have gone through nights as well. When she returns from kindergarten, she says that it is fun and smiling, but suddenly she starts looking for things that annoy me and insists on changing them. When I disagree, she begins to lie on the floor and scream. Whenever that happens, I try to hug her hard and tell her I’m here for her, but she keeps me away. After a while, she calms down and asks for a hug, and then go back. She can get up in the morning and ask for a snack, and like during the day she gets angry when she doesn’t get what she wants. What is the way to eradicate the tantrums?
“In the garden, I guess it doesn’t happen to your daughter. Let’s not forget that this is a naughty and innocent girl who works unconsciously on an automaton, but she realized that what she was doing brought her a lot of attention, whether in the form of attitude, connection, conversation or talk. Each time something different happens which is a different set up to produce the same tantrum. When that happened, you replied to the same routine every time, and then she was already in the mess of herself and calmed down. The rage is small and momentary and not completely real in my opinion, which is the kind of behavior that I feel provides something to her. She has now taken this behavior into the night as well, and she is diminishing it. You have to decide that you are not a crowd for seizures anymore. “

“If you explain to her every day why she won’t get what she wants, once you repeat it again, know that you’re in the trash, you’re weakening yourself. It’s wonderful that you don’t give up, but it doesn’t help because it makes you act, if she Continuing with the action there is a kind of profit here. “