Many emotions, such as anger, jealousy, and jealousy, evoke in us other feelings as well: fear, guilt, and shame. Emotions are difficult to trace precisely because they are easily chained. The original feeling remains dim, because it is already topped by another, more powerful feeling.
For example, jealousy can be the kind of chained feeling that masks the longing, disappointment, and hurt of intimacy.
You expect attention from your partner, but his or her attention is elsewhere: at work, at work, at leisure. You feel marginalized because you feel like everything else is driving you forward. Emotions are difficult to identify or accept if it is difficult to identify or accept the needs that aroused the emotion.
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The ignored feeling begins to riot
The reason behind jealousy, jealousy, shame, or another hardly intolerable feeling is probably that some basic need is not being met. Each of us needs intimacy, attention, and care. Everyone also wants to cherish their independence and be on an equal footing with other people.
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A small child cries quietly at first when he is hungry or alone. If the need is not met, the crying intensifies. So it is with emotions. If they pass, they will start to riot even harder to become noticed.
The disappointment that erupts as a cry and rage has gradually arisen as a sum of disappointments. If you can’t talk about your disappointments, you might be steadily angry for a long time until you explode.
Why does someone collect grief?
Grief can also be part of the emotions being repelled. Feelings of grief can be frightening if strength and coping are glorified in a growth environment. Grief makes a person slow and unattainable. It does not fit the self-image of an effective person.
However, it is good to remember that a person becomes depressed if he forgets himself by ignoring his own needs. If it goes on for a long time, you will eventually no longer know what you want.
Depression is preceded by long-lasting fatigue and perseverance: As long as I take myself by the neck, yes this one. Depression is often rooted in repressed anger and beneath it, endless kindness, a desire to please, and sacrifice for the benefit of others, such as children, spouse, and employer.
Care for the inner child
One can think that a depressed person has supplanted his or her own inner child who needs care. So we should strengthen the caring adult side within ourselves so that the injured inner child becomes cared for.
What would you have needed as a child to be angry and angry? How would a caring adult react to a child who is tired or angry?
We could all have a lower threshold to express our own need. One can ask for care, intimacy and help.
You can also offer your company, attention and help. It is an empowering experience to give and receive. It increases feelings of security and confidence in life.
Interpersonal relationships run more simply when a person expresses themselves directly. Honest expression of emotion is also an expression of trust in another. That way, you tell us about your own needs and what you expect from someone else.
The expert is psychologist Katja Myllyviita
This article has appeared in Good Health magazine. As a subscriber, you can read all numbers free of charge from the digilehdet.fi service.
Source: Hyvä Terveys by www.hyvaterveys.fi.
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