Did you cry after a good orgasm? Or maybe even actually cry? In English it is called crymaxing – a combination of crying and peaking. It’s clear to everyone that orgasm can be accompanied by sighs, tremors and squirts, but what about tears or real crying? Crying, during or after an orgasm – may be surprising or frightening, but if you think about it this is a pretty logical phenomenon.
When you reach orgasm, your brain and body are flooded with hormones like oxytocin, the love hormone or some would say “cockroach hormone”, and dopamine, the happiness hormone. The rise in hormones and also their drop cause a physical chain reaction. You may notice one of the following symptoms: tremors in the legs, a heat wave rising to the chest and / or a faster pulse. One or all of the symptoms, including crying, can occur, and the more powerful the orgasm, the more likely it is to happen. It is also important to know that each one will experience an orgasm differently and therefore the reaction that will be created in each one and each time will be different. Also, this is just one reason that can explain crying after orgasm. What are the other reasons? Later in the article.
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Is crying after sex or after a normal orgasm?
Let’s say it this way, it’s not abnormal. You may cry and you may not, there is no solid and absolute definition of the intensity of the emotions you will feel in an intimate encounter, whether it is positive emotions or negative emotions.
Do men also cry after orgasm?
Yes, absolutely! Men may also cry after sex. It is a natural connection that takes place in the brain alongside the emotional side. The hormones, the sensation in the body and the connection to the heart can certainly make men cry after orgasm as well.
Some statistics: Studies show that 46% of women have experienced crying after sex at least once in their lifetime. Further studies show that about 40% of men also experience crying after sex at least once in a lifetime. So you can see that there is no big difference between the sexes, but it is important to know that this is a field that has not been researched in depth enough.
Why are there still times that cry after sex and sometimes not?
There are several reasons that can explain the phenomenon of crying after orgasm. This does not require a direct connection to what happened now – before, during and after sex, but to what has to do with the human psyche and its complexity, that is, the “charge” that everyone came with. In that case, sex may have been the trigger for crying, but not necessarily the cause of crying.
Some reasons that may explain the phenomenon:
- Hormones – As I have already written, one of the reasons for crying after orgasm, is a rapid rise in the levels of the hormones oxytocin and dopamine in the body, which causes a tremendous feeling of pleasure, and at the same time an overflow of emotions. Immediately afterwards there is a drop in the levels of these hormones which further contributes to this flooding and an increase in positive emotions mixed with negative emotions.
- Reason to rejoice – Crying after an orgasm can be a good sign! The strong feelings of the intimate connection with the sexual partner, gratitude for these powerful feelings and release of sexual tension that is gradually built up and released now – all these are translated into a powerful and positive experience expressed in tears of happiness and release.
- Pain or physical discomfort – Pain or physical discomfort during sex can also cause crying. Many women experience pain during sex for various reasons: chronic pain, muscle spasms, bladder problem, some inflammation, menopausal effects like vaginal dryness and more. In case the crying is caused as a result of pain it is of course important to treat the problem according to its cause. If you are experiencing pain during sex, whether they make you cry or not, see your gynecologist or sexual therapist to find out what is causing the problem and how it can be treated.
- A sign of relationship problems – There are times that crying is a direct result of what happened right now and who is with you between the sheets. Crying after sex can be caused as a result of feeling that this sex is not right for you, a problem that you are physically or mentally aware of in a relationship, that makes you cry at this peak moment. Crying from a state of mental distress you are in is not a positive cry from pleasure. If you have doubts about the relationship or there is something you are not comfortable with in the context of sex or relationships I recommend solving the problems and not in bed – communication between spouses is the most important thing there is and sometimes even couple or sexual counseling is needed.
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When should crying after sex be considered a problem?
So crying after sex can be a good sign, and in many cases even a great sign! In any case, it is completely normal – the question is just what it means to us. If you feel that crying is a flood of positive feelings of love and powerful passion then everything is fine. On the other hand, if the feelings that come up in you are negative, if there is some previous trauma that leads to this crying now, if something feels wrong to you and the tears are tears of sadness then you need to think about why and what needs to change and talk about it with your partner.
In conclusion, tears and also unstoppable crying after orgasm are a completely normal phenomenon. Crying can result from various and varied reasons, from very positive to negative. Did the sex end in a big burst of crying? Find out for yourself Are you crying because of an overflow of feelings of love, do you feel that something in the relationship is wrong and that is why you are crying? Ask yourself these questions, talk to your partner about the phenomenon – enjoy it and intensify it if it is positive and makes you feel good and do not ignore it, if it raises the suspicion that there is a problem here that needs to be addressed and not moved to the agenda.
To a life of erupting passion,
Yours, Limor Bendel
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