How to control yourself when your movie “breaks”

Without them, our everyday life would certainly not be as exciting and interesting as it is. Emotions are responsible for every good feeling that followed a well-done task at work, success in an important project or simply a sincere hug from a loved one.

Sandro Kraljević, psiholog, Mind Lab

On the other hand, it is these same emotions that are often responsible for poor cooperation in the workplace and poor interpersonal relationships, both in the business and private spheres of life. Due to the negative impact of emotions, it often happens that business negotiations between companies do not go in the desired direction, clients leave because they are no longer satisfied with the quality of cooperation, and a bad atmosphere that can quickly spread throughout the company.

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Moreover, research has shown that, due to the negative impact that emotions have on everyday business, companies lose millions of dollars annually!

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Each of us has at least once found himself in a situation in the workplace in which he witnessed on his own skin how many emotions can actually have harmful consequences for our physical and mental well-being.

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Imagine a situation in which you are given the sudden task of writing a very detailed and comprehensive report from your boss in the next few days, which will not only require you to move other business commitments, but you will certainly stay overtime every day until you write it to the end. .

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It is completely understandable that you are dissatisfied with all this, but you will very likely still get a job. Finally, you complete the report and, visibly exhausted from the whole job, hand it over to the boss who is not at all satisfied, telling you that you have to revise some parts of the report immediately.

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Now pause for a moment and try to imagine yourself in that situation. What thoughts would go through your head? How would you feel? What would you say to your boss at that point? It is almost certain that none of these three components is positive.

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Whether you have the urge to slap your boss, throw a report in his face, or even physically attack him, the fact is that in such a situation, each of us would find it very difficult to control himself not to react inappropriately. As much as such reactions are justified and very natural to each of us, they are, after all, very inappropriate.

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Namely, they would certainly bring us even bigger problems in the workplace. This shows exactly how important it is to know how to manage one’s emotions well.

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Negative emotions do not have to occur just because of a big report. On the contrary, they can occur for a number of other, most banal reasons. A friend who did not call you as you agreed or a colleague from work who came to the office for the tenth time to ask you a stupid question, are just some of the countless situations that can be triggers for bad emotions, which will not only you feel bad, but so does your environment.

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Avoid situations that cause bad emotions

One of the most effective methods of controlling bad emotions is to prevent them from occurring.

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If you know that you are not an overly patient person and that a movie will “shoot” if a colleague is only late to send you some important information by e-mail, do something about it! Next time, in a mild but determined tone, tell him that it is very important that he sends you this information on time, so that you can do your part of the job in the required time and quality.

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Take some time to look at his situation, and get information about why he is always late in sending this information, and “cut that problem at the root”.

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Modify your own expectations

It is an indisputable fact that bad emotions often occur due to unrealistic (both one’s own and other people’s) expectations.

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There is no point in having a guilty conscience because you failed to write a perfect report, thinking that nothing you wrote is valid. It is very unlikely that the whole report is bad; furthermore, focus on the part you wrote great and feel free to praise yourself for a job well done!

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Change your focus

Bad emotions often occur to us precisely because we long for something (at that moment) unattainable.

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How many times have you just caught up a month before summer and realized that you don’t get to lose all the extra pounds to have a good beach line? No matter how much you despair because of that, it will not help you reach the material from the front pages of model magazines in a month.

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However, what you can do for sure is to go to the gym intensively and reduce your diet, and see what result you will achieve in those months.

Focus on that process and some result will surely come, and you can always treat yourself to a new swimsuit as a reward!

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Work on your thoughts

A large number of studies have unequivocally confirmed that thoughts play a very important role in the appearance of our emotions.

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This actually means that you may feel bad because you have wrong thoughts or beliefs about a situation or aspect of life that is bothering you. You failed to cook lunch for your friends the way you wanted and think they will now look at you as a less capable host? The reality of the situation is almost different – if you have cooked great so far, it is really unlikely that they think that lunch was poorly prepared, and even if it bothered them, they will certainly not treat you as a less valuable friend.

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Control your own reactions

In some situations, however, we cannot influence our own thoughts, modify the situation or resort to a third method, but bad emotions appear “like thunder from a clear sky”.

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No matter how much you think you would rather “explode” and say everything to the other person in the face, you always have the opportunity to choose your reaction. Maybe your heart started beating faster or you started to feel a cramp in your stomach, but it doesn’t mean that you should show it on the outside.

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Get up from your chair and walk into the next room, take a few deep breaths, or close your eyes and visualize a soothing scene. Whatever you choose to do, always keep in mind a fact that we all often forget, and that is that you are responsible for controlling your emotional reactions, not the other way around!

Source: Sito&Rešeto by

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