One thing is for sure, there is no perfectly obedient child, nor a perfect parent. At one point, all children ignore, feel the boundaries, quarrel with their siblings, which means that every parent can try to solve the problem by shouting. Before you make a fuss, read how shouting affects children.
A survey conducted by the Dubai Foundation for Women and Children found that as many as a quarter of children have their parents shout in a violent and intimidating way, and eight percent of children said it happens often.
Experts say that we should pay special attention to what we say to children, because although words cannot physically hurt them, they can do psychological damage, and most agree that constant noise and shouting can have consequences for the child’s mental health.
Shouting confuses children
Children perceive shouting as an attack on their sense of security and trust. Children feel responsible for the parental anger directed at them, because they are quite egocentric beings and think that when they do something good, “mom and dad laugh, and when they do something bad, they shout.” Younger children simply cannot even understand the explanation for anger such as everyday little things that happen to us, problems at work or a broken car.
If children are constantly exposed to noise, there can be feelings of fear, stress, anxiety, insomnia, developmental problems, behavior, learning, socializing,…
Shouting is a form of emotional abuse
Although it doesn’t seem like it to you, experts agree with the thesis that raising a voice on a child is a form of emotional abuse, and that impression is influenced not only by your tone but also by body language and words we use to criticize or be sarcastic.
Shouting doesn’t help
The most important thing in the whole story is that shouting as an educational method does not work, because it generally does not convey an important message to children. Children are busy defending themselves from parental “attack” so that in most cases they do not understand the point of why parents are shouting. On the other hand, children who are constantly exposed to shouting are simply excluded in those moments.
Don’t blame yourself
Parents should not be too strict with themselves after reading this text, if they shout at their children from time to time, because we all have bad days. Parenting is the most important and demanding role in our lives, which brings with it many challenges.
The good thing is that we can fix, learn and change, and occasionally yelling at kids will not have any lasting effect, especially if parents have a habit of apologizing for it and calmly trying to correct what threw them out of step with the child.
If a good parent who really pays attention to the upbringing of his child sometimes makes a noise, it can help the child to get stronger and to cope more easily with difficult life situations in which he will surely find himself one day. Throughout this situation, they can learn to stand up for themselves and retaliate with the same measure if necessary.
At the right time, shouting is okay
Although we have a habit of yelling at kids when they do something that could endanger them in those situations, experts say, one should refrain. It is understandable that most of us make noise if a child runs out into the street, but shouting at that moment can do more harm than good. If you want your child to get stronger and think before he does something, use a strict, determined voice that will encourage your children’s brain to open up and learn. Where there is adrenaline as a result of fear of possible shouting, there is also a limited capacity for thinking.
How to stop shouting once and for all
In most cases, parents think very little and reconsider their parenting methods, mostly copying their parents and the way they raised them. Parents usually shout at their children because that may be the only educational method they know about. Try new, more modern methods, and with a few simple rules, you will stop yelling at kids.
- Let the children know clearly what you expect from them, tell them: “Please pack your toys now.”
- Give them warnings and reminders, but without special rewards. “When you put the toys away, you will be able to go outside to play with your friends.”
- Tell your child what they want to do, not what they don’t want. “Please lower your voice,” instead of “Stop yelling.”
Source: LifePress magazin by lifepressmagazin.com.
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