Carl could not sleep that night. A lot of thoughts were going through his mind. When we think well of ourselves, we bring to life the most beautiful and the best things. This is what Mark had claimed. Carl was looking forward to learning more about Mark.
He wanted to know if his life was really full of “the most beautiful and the best things”. At the same time, however, he could not imagine that such a thing could happen to him.
Finally he fell asleep. But then he remembered the purple book. He got up again and put the book in his office drawer. He wanted to deceive the woman.
Indeed, the old woman with white hair came back to his dream. He was also wearing that crimson sweater. Again he could not understand her. He was moving his lips
her, but he heard nothing. Then he showed her the purple book and put it… in his office drawer.
When Carl woke up, he remembered very vividly the dream he had seen. He took the book from the drawer and flipped through it. There really was something new on the second page:
The crucial question is: AM I ENOUGH ENOUGH?
Most people unknowingly ask themselves this question. And they answer: I’m not good enough. I can not. I have to, but I can’t. Their self-confidence is low.
There are three questions that help us understand the three crucial aspects of our self-confidence:
Am I lovable?
Who am I;
Can: Do I feel able to meet the demands of my life?
I am lovable: Do I deserve to be happy? Am I entitled to a nice and happy life? Do I deserve to be loved?
Who am I: What kind of person am I? And do I feel grateful for my current life?
The answers to these questions determine our quality of life.
The text ended abruptly again. How was this found here? wondered Carl. Am I going crazy? There must be a logical explanation for all this, he thought, trying to reassure himself. But he did not find any. So he focused on the text.
And then an idea came to him. He wanted to answer these questions for himself. And even in writing. He laughed like a child. Ma’am, do you mind if I write in your book again? This time it took on a different color. The old woman had written in blue. He picked up a red pen and began to note:
Can; I do not think I can handle all situations.
Is there anyone who could claim such a thing for himself? Maybe Superman. But it would definitely be a very nice feeling.
Am I lovable? I think the stars in the movie we are shooting are much cooler and much more lovable. They are entitled to have a happy and beautiful life. I do not understand why I should be entitled to it.
Who am I; I would have a hard time if I had to describe who I am. I know very little about myself. I do not even know if it is important. Do I have to be able to describe myself? This question tells me almost nothing. He heard a message on his cell phone. It was by Mark. Just a few words, as she had told him:
Have you ever loved someone so much that you can do anything for them? Become this person and do what makes you happy.
No, Carl thought, it has not happened to me so far. I have never been so in love. He really liked a lighting assistant in the studio; he was great. But in love? No way!
Then he wondered why Mark had sent this to him. But he did not have time to think about it now. He had to get ready and go to the studio. It was already late. He laughed again. If it was late
much, he could tell them about the woman in the red sweater and purple diary. Surely everyone would show great understanding. He suddenly felt well. He realized he had a sense of humor.
And that helped him cope with a lot of things. Even with a purple diary that was impossible to have.
The excerpt is a pre-publication from the book “I can” that will be published by Klidarithmos
Source: Εναλλακτική Δράση by enallaktikidrasi.com.
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