A friendship also includes being heard. If one always feels that they will never have a say, we are in crisis. In the end, meetings are only drifted out of habit.
So how do you put a mouthpiece in your hand?
The means can be either soft or hard, direct or indirect. In a group, one way is to purposefully talk to someone else and ignore the mouthpiece as if.
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You can also talk on top, the talkative does it himself. One way is to say, wait a minute, you get your turn. Let me when I say this to the end, otherwise the thought will break.
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You can also ask questions. It must be remembered that the questioner exercises the power and quantity that is being talked about. In other words, by asking questions – if you don’t make the speaker silent now – you can at least decide what to talk about.
If subtle requests don’t work, one way is to say: Don’t always interrupt me.
If direct measures are to be taken, we must be prepared for a possible crisis. Are you ready to take the risk of breaking up a friendship?
What if the other does not listen?
I have a coworker who often politely asks what’s up, but when I start telling him, he starts reading a magazine or grabbing his cell phone.
Often, callers claim that they are now just such, talkative. As for the mouth, however, there is no personality or character. Everyone can influence their own behaviors.
Talkativeness is not a trait and you can learn to listen. Listening is meant for one to genuinely seek to understand what the other is talking about. It gives the other space to speak uninterruptedly and in their own rhythm.
Listening is a skill that some have by nature, but some need practice.
Also, in the listening presence, one does not immediately begin to resonate with another. When another tells of their grief, one should not attack to tell that you hear the death of that monk’s grandmother sometime ten years ago. True, genuine listening expresses appreciation: That listens to me, therefore also appreciates me.
Can you stand the silence?
Do I have to count my mouths then? What if we were quiet sometimes? You can also try to increase your tolerance for silence.
You don’t always have to rush to break the silence. When you give yourself space, others will start talking sooner or later. And not everyone feels that silence is evil.
That can also be relaxed. Sometimes the talkative and the quiet complement each other, so that both rest in a seemingly unbalanced relationship. If both are happy, what’s there.
- Ask the other to wait.
- Ask and you will direct the conversation.
- Talk on.
- Ask why the other is not listening.
- Say the situation is bothering you.
- Let me know that you would also like to talk about your own affairs.
- If nothing else helps, take the distance.
Expert: Satu Kaski, psychologist, PST, Clear mind Oy.
This article has appeared in Good Health magazine. As a subscriber, you can read all numbers free of charge from the digilehdet.fi service.
Source: Hyvä Terveys by www.hyvaterveys.fi.
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