Do not be afraid of fear: how to accept anxiety in love

Anxiety is one of the most common symptoms among human beings, misconceptions about anxiety can increase it and worsen the symptoms it brings with it, in fact we all deal with anxiety to one degree or another. These are situations that are often perceived as negative and will appear to some extent as internal distress, which will be expressed in unpleasant feelings in the body, bothersome and negative thoughts and emotional flooding.
Anxiety is energy that is in the body, it is like having a dam, as soon as the water level rises there is a passage of water to the other side, it is just like with the anxiety level, once a person has no capacity to contain the amount of anxiety, the anxiety level rises and there is flooding. The level of love.
In fact in the energy levels the higher the level of anxiety, the higher the level of love, which means that if we want to experience deeper levels of love we will probably deal with higher levels of anxiety as well.

common phenomenon. Anxiety and flooding of negative emotions (Photo: Ing Image)

The mistake

Love and anxiety are an integral part of the energy of life.
Our interpretation is not always the truth, sometimes we interpret the situation incorrectly and then we seek refuge, a place to escape to, something that will reduce the level of anxiety. Whenever there is tension, anger, sadness, confusion or other emotions that are perceived as negative and we try to regulate them through repression it is a huge mistake because once we repress them we will reduce the ability to feel satisfaction, joy, happiness, pleasure, love, meaning and sense of fullness.
It is a circle that is difficult to break, it becomes a pattern of belief, thinking and behavior.

All in your head.  Anxiety can be controlled (Photo: Ingeimage)All in your head. Anxiety can be controlled (Photo: Ingeimage)

the solution

Learn to contain all emotions, arouse curiosity when an emotion is perceived as negative and learn how to accept it.
Awareness work is required here, in some cases it is important to include emotional therapy and in other cases basic mindfulness exercises can suffice but must be learned and assimilated in such a way that they can be used with you in situations of anxiety, helplessness, distress.
Mindfulness is a basic meditation technique that among its other qualities it comes to teach us how to maintain steady attention in such a way that both the physical body, the emotional body, the body of thought and the energetic body will be more stable, which means the experience will be quieter and the ability to contain anxiety will increase. And will increase as we deepen our learning and practice.
To some extent it is very similar to physical fitness training at the developmental level, like not getting in shape in one day or losing 10 kg a week, so too with mindfulness exercises, it is important to persevere and more, at first it is important to learn to practice them in pleasant and relaxed situations. Anxiety because chances are it just won’t help and the need for emotional eating will overcome the desire to contain the anxiety.

3 simple ways to start practicing mindfulness

Here are some simple ideas for practicing mindfulness. It is important to note that it is recommended to study in a professional course from a qualified teacher in order to achieve the best effect and also that in-depth practice will require guidance and direction and in the process the anxiety level may rise naturally just like the anxiety level.

In addition, the exercises offered here are not a substitute for emotional therapy or formal learning of mindfulness practice. These are exercises that help a lot in the beginning to connect to the experience and understanding of the power that our attention has, you should also look at the attention just like a muscle that develops.

Mindfulness.  Practical exercises for relaxation (Photo: Ing Image)Mindfulness. Practical exercises for relaxation (Photo: Ing Image)

Exercise 1 – Take a sip of water and hold it in the mouth as much as possible, note that attention will automatically go to the breath, try to let go of the body as much as possible, the more you persist it will be easier and for longer periods of time.

Exercise 2 – Hold a full glass of water and an empty glass of water and just move the water from side to side while you bring attention to the pouring, the sound of the water, the breathing and if possible also the sensations of the body.

Exercise 3 – Sit comfortably and rinse your body carefully from feet to head in inhalation and from head to feet in exhalation, whenever thoughts wander simply return to this action.

Shahaf Eldar (Photo: Yachz)Shahaf Eldar (Photo: Yachz)

Shahaf Eldar, a transpersonal psychotherapist is one of the lecturers who will participate in INSPIRATION 2022 – The largest annual conference in Israel for therapists in complementary and integrative medicine to be held on 5-6.7.2022 at the Wahl-Bar Ilan Center in Ramat Gan


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