Decapitation of the Vikings – Siukum Balal’s blog


My last blogger “broadcast” from the England – Germany match met with a very strong reaction from a blogger devoted to the truth and matters important to European football. The main complaint is that football is mixed up with the past, which is sometimes quite uncomfortable. I was even compared to Krystyna Pawłowicz, which is absolutely absurd for those of my readers who know me from reality. I really don’t look like Mrs. Krystyna. And mixing football with absurdities was not my patent. However, since it was decided to apologize for the plantations in Louisiana, since the media lynching of the Hungarian national team was carried out, since the stadiums were decorated with rainbow colors and probably if the rainbow shirts were distinguishable, all teams would play in rainbow shirts. Only the judge – a homophobe – would stand out. So why didn’t I have the right to tie the match with Luftwaffe squadrons? After all, it was not me who made English fans sing a lovely song about 10 Luftwaffe bombers. Let me just remind you that this is the favorite song of the English children from 1940, which remained on the BBC Radio “Łan” charts for quite a long time.

Because dear readers – football is war, it is a substitute for war. After all, wars broke out in connection with football. Fortunately, in Europe, football is a substitute for war, it is a modern tribal war. Just look at the fans’ war paints. Suffice it to mention yesterday’s Roman legionnaires at Wembley. After all, they were already here when London was called Londinium.

Today another war is ahead of us. The Danes are furious mainly because of 5,000 tickets for their fans. This scandal is compared to the bombing of Copenhagen by the British navy in 1807. They still remember it and they want revenge. They also remember the time when York was their capital. It is from here to this day that most towns in Yorkshire have Scandinavian origins. Despite their slim strength, the Vikings promise to sack Wembley as in the good old days. Because according to them, only the Viking is the one who has always happily managed to return home, carrying loot and living genetic material in the form of women. They are raiders.

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That’s why today I’m going to a game in one of the oldest pubs in England to watch the decapitation of the Vikings. The choice of the pub is not accidental because it is related to the quite loud decapitation from the times of the English Civil War, the one from the times of Oliver Cromwell. From the time when modern English parliamentarism was born. The clash between the king and parliament ended, as is known, with the destruction of Charles I Stuart, England briefly became a republic, ruled by the Lord Protector, and then – two years after Cromwell’s death – the monarchy was restored and the son of Charles I, Charles II Stuart, ascended the throne. However, it was no longer the monarchy of his father’s time.

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The result of a long series of conflicts and battles between the royalists and the supporters of parliament was a constitutional monarchy, which functions quite successfully to this day. One of the side decapitations – resulting from the royalists’ defeat – was the execution of James Stanley, Earl of Derby, on October 15, 1651, shortly after noon. Sworn royalist and commander of troops faithful to the king, taking part in the siege and capture of Bolton, the city that favored Parliament. The subsequent slaughter in the streets of Bolton was one of the bloodiest episodes of the Civil War.

Over 1,600 inhabitants of the city were murdered without mercy. And it was for this act that James Stanley had to spend the last three hours of his life in the Ye Olde Man & Scythe tavern, over a tin mug of beer. Then with dignity – amid the prayers of the Bolton crowd – he stepped onto the scaffold set opposite the pub. He had the guy style, he didn’t crack. A chair was kept in the pub where the 7th Earl of Derby drank the last Boddington.

I’m going to get my Boddington. The notice is open and will be updated as the situation at Wembley develops. The decapitation of the Vikings is on the way.

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