Conquer fear, not fear

Rahman Mridha

2023-05-26

The gentleman lives in great peril. Friends are suddenly speaking their minds. His whole life is spent only in fear; Fear of parents in childhood, fear of teachers in student life, fear of boss in work life, fear of death, fear of judgment there. Suddenly, a friend asked from the side, “Are you talking about your wife?” The gentleman replied only that he did not say out of fear.

Many will disagree with me if I say that this is the condition of most husbands and wives in the world. I am not afraid of disagreement, but mainly because of the point, what methods can be adopted if we want to overcome fear.

Not long ago, a prime minister of Sweden was jinxed about how he was living with his wife. In reply the Prime Minister said, ‘jag lauter henne vinna’. He simply accepts what his wife says. Later, the minister reveals his secret to his friend, essentially winning the wife over, resulting in a win-win relationship between them forever.

I thought about it. Later I thought that as the creator created everything, he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants but does not do anything despite having all power. Not doing this is a huge power.

We humans like to retaliate, to fight back because it is our instinct to win. But the tendency to win in silence is often forgotten! I have lived in Sweden for almost forty years.

Naturally everything in this society is nothing new for me. Still, since I have spent a third of my life in Bangladesh, the lessons I have learned from Bangladesh are strong, not swayed by the slightest breeze or shattered by a storm. It means that if there is a problem, the problem is not correct, let’s try; To find a solution, to think about the matter etc.

Many times I see that there is not a good relationship between husband and wife? They slowly separate from each other, there is no problem with children, they share who, when, what to do. They are not in the warehouse. Simple thought love is there, I am. No love, no.

Even though I have been here for 40 years, I cannot make such a sudden decision like them. This is because I like to gossip. Like why not love? Who are you in love with? What is my crime? There are a thousand ways to get it. Like a lemon or lemon, I will make it like a lemon, and then I will beat and die.

This attitude works in me, even though I have left Bangladesh for forty years, I could not leave some habits! Now tell me why; The childhood days are far away now but the lessons are not far away, they will last a lifetime. Why does Hilsa fish leave the sea and return to the Padma River?

law of nature The beginning of birth is education, the main mantra of sowing the seeds of life. It cannot be washed away even if you try a hundred times. But it is possible to adapt to the society, so I am doing it. I didn’t think to share the story before, but last week a university in Sweden where I studied, at the beginning of my Swedish life.

There, children between one and five years of age are studied on their daily life. From bringing up the child to what environment they move around in, what they eat, who they hang out with, what they read, how they read, how much time they spend with technology, how they use technology, whether they do everything alone or with their parents. Follow up on what he does and when he feels good or not and then compare it with work or family life.

The research has been carried out by Swedish psychologists for many years. I believe such research is going on in many countries of the world including Bangladesh. But my reflection here is that there should be no negligence in the birth of the child. There should be no disagreement to make the child complete. The child who is born full of good and bad, grows up to be the most adaptable in life, whether life is hard or full of flowers.

I would like to identify myself as a proud Bangladeshi even though I was not born with a golden spoon in my mouth, but my parents’ discipline, love, care and proper child education helped me to become a global citizen. Because I am Bangladeshi by birth, my wife’s mother is Swedish, father is Spanish. I live in Sweden and travel the world, adapting to everyone.

Author: Rahman Mridha, Former Director (Production and Supply Chain Management), Pfizer, Sweden.

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