The answers mostly come down to the difference in male, that is, female logical.
And then the topic is reduced to sex for a moment. “Sex is more important to a man than a woman”, “A woman is more emotional, gentler, prone to romance, passive in relation to a man because he is the one who wins”. “A woman is attracted to a powerful man.”
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Even when we add fairy tales about humble princesses and brave princes, knights, there are treats for our dual mind to emphasize its importance and put an imperative to deepen diversity.
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Yes, there are differences!
However, do these differences relate to our needs or desires? Do we know the difference between needs i desires?
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It seems that it is from this ignorance that the imperative in distinguishing the sexual needs of men and women creeps in.
There are two paths in front of me:
One with flowers, the other with thorns;
My feet are iron –
I’m going thorns to come back.
I give way to flowers
To whom the foot is soft;
Let women tread on flowers,
And thorns are for man!
– Đura Jakšić
Therefore, we cannot have more or less needs.
The mentioned beliefs do not speak about someone’s greater right because he is of the opposite sex, but about the denial of the right to equal expression of sexuality.
Equalizing that right does not mean that someone won or that someone’s exclusive was revoked.
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In an effort to overcome the above beliefs, we have been facing the fruits of the “Sexual Revolution” for decades, which seem to be moving to another extreme.
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This is how things stand if a person, regardless of gender, is guided by the belief that the goal of sex is power, domination. And what power is that if others have no insight into it?
Even when we exclude the previous belief, the question arises – How does anyone manage in this kind of equality?
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The age-old domination of men and the passive position of women have made the fear of men under control. Equality freed the enemy! Will that be enough a man to recognize the end always satisfied woman, that is, a woman who shows no dissatisfaction?
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Failure to deal with fear deepens the problem because “What kind of man are you if you are afraid?”, Which is often seemingly decides avoidant behavior.
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Avoidant behavior is compensation for unresolved frustration and is recognized in the dominant effort to gain as high a social status, financial power, or change of sexual partners – which increases the likelihood of meeting the “Enough man = always happy woman” requirement.
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Fleeing from fear, one can easily fall into the trap of avoiding experiences and other pleasant and unpleasant emotions, which certainly impoverishes the relationship.
Aware of that favorite fairy tale, in which the princess waiting a prince who only wants her, does not correspond to reality, they conclude that they must give up all expectations of prince.
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On the other hand, the acquired equality from the previous passive position acts as a requirement for survival without the support of a man. Certain emancipovana women’s behavior can also be recognized as a consequence of fear. Fear of being left alone, unprotected, frustrated. As a consequence of such fear, behavior reminiscent of what we are accustomed to suit the male role in society dominates, whether it is domination in the business sphere or free sexual behavior.
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Why so much clutter in the roles?
We return again to the duality of the mind, to the tendency to double to exclude, to conclude either – or, black – white.
If we were to get rid of all the learned logics about gender roles, there would be something left that is recognized as a strong desire next to sexuality as a need and differs depending on gender.
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I want to make her happy, read, happy. I want to be special to him, read, that he is happy with me.
Without open cooperation to satisfy these desires, both remain frustrated.
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Happiness is not a short-term pleasure but a constant of every being, ennobled by an emotional connection with a partner and spiced with sex.
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