Separation can be a difficult and shaky experience for spouses who have decided to separate, whether in fact it happened on the initiative of one party, by mutual consent or at the initiative of the other party. It can be likened to the loss of a loved one who has died suddenly in the intensity of the pain and fear she encounters with the person who has experienced it. As a matter of fact, separation and divorce processes often ignite negative emotions which create disharmony, drama and fear of the unknown which plays a very important role within the transformation of the family unit.
A divorce agreement expresses the mutual agreements of the separate spouses
Within this crossroads, comes the need to write a divorce agreement which is supposed to express the mutual agreements of the separate spouses involved and involved in the divorce arrangement in a transparent, balanced and harmonious manner for both parties including the children.
Many times, people lighten their heads in this agreement and just try to end it as quickly as possible to avoid the pain and fear that arises during its formation and writing. It is a common mistake made by couples who are in a hurry to divorce and write an agreement in light of the fact that this agreement is one of the important and substantial agreements that the couple will sign during their lives.
This agreement expresses the new equilibrium created within the family unit and affects both the couple, their children, their common property and its division and builds the new infrastructure for the family unit which is undergoing conversion and change. The way the couple will complete the existing chapter is the way they construct the next chapter.
It is important to understand that divorce in absolute values is not really possible when the couple has children in common, they forever remain connected to each other by being parents therefore, required in the right process and constructive to convert the relationship from romantic / couple to joint parenting without precipitation and negative charges.
Draw up a divorce agreement as detailed as possible
The separation itself affects all the life cycles of the couple so it is important that this agreement is first and foremost as a first principle TheWas As detailed as possible, it looks to the future and potential scenarios Which may materialize in the coming years related to housing, alimony, changing needs of the children and more. Once the agreement is approved in the local family court, it constitutes a judgment that is difficult to reopen and appeal its content.
A close dialogue that allows for bridging gaps during the separation
The second principle is The principle of close conversation which bridges gaps during conscious separation Focusing on common interests rather than fortifying personal and individual positions that embody one side rather than the whole picture and the common needs of both spouses. This is learned through the acquisition of techniques that create constructive rather than distant or blackening communication. Proximity communication helps and enables the couple to create new circles of consent for the future to come.
Formulation of a divorce agreement that suits the couple and the unique circumstances of their lives
The third principle is Formulation of a mutual agreement which constitutes a win win For both parties, who have the emotional and financial motivation for both parties to sign it and uphold it in practice during and for the duration of the agreement and the fourth principle Joining forces to find common solutions in writing the divorce story Are intertwined. It is important that the agreement be tailor-made to suit the specific couple and the family unit they built together during the marriage, which has unique characteristics (unique and individual DNA) that allows for the formation of an agreement that matches the couple and their unique life circumstances.
When spouses leave the issues at hand unresolved and turn to a judicial decision they actually transfer the power inherent in them to someone else outside of them and leave their fate to be written by the judicial system that does not know them in depth and their real needs.
Closing the edges of the old connection and building a foundation for the future
The fifth principle is closing loose ends: The huge advantage of a properly made divorce agreement lies in the fact that it builds the foundation for the couple years ahead until the time the children grow up and provides peace of mind and allows if properly closed full ends of the old relationship that existed between the couple both at the marital level and financially without unnecessary appendages.
Taking responsibility and directing resources for the purpose of resolving the issue
The sixth principle is: Separating the person from the challenge he reflects and separating the personal from the issue itself – Every person who enters our lives is a mirror and reflection of our inner state and the challenges we face that are completely ours and not at all related to the person who reflects them to us. Many times, we tend to blame the person standing in front of us as if he or she is solely responsible for the crisis we are experiencing when our life partner is just a seismograph and is a reflection of our inner state so he or she is actually doing us good by subconsciously showing us lessons we need to learn and get. In our subconscious.
As our focus shifts from external hurling towards the person who challenges us and isolates the challenge itself and focuses on solving it only while taking full responsibility for our part so real resources can be diverted to resolve the issue we are dealing with rather than dealing with fire and drama. This makes it possible to neutralize the sting and the ticking bomb between the couple and allows for an exit from the story while dismantling unnecessary charges and precipitation, recovering from negative dynamics and formulating an optimal divorce agreement.
Formulation of a system of agreements and common values in relation to children
The seventh principle is Focus on parental vision: Parental vision is in fact a determination of a system of agreements and common values according to which the parents will act within the common parental relationship after separation and is in fact their platform for joint parenting while focusing on agreed values like excellence, human love, love for animals or giving to others and more according to special family signature.
Attorney Shani Levy Rosenblum Deals with family law, divorce agreements, divorce mediation, legal assistance in consensual separation proceedings, resource balancing, sight arrangements, custody, alimony and more. Article courtesy of the lawyers’ website No guide.
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