A good psychologist will tell you that it is good to enter into an emotional relationship with someone who is free and emotionally available (the first does not mean the second!), Independent and independent, interested in the relationship, similar and – if possible – equal.
Deviations from this, more or less, are the cause of the problem. Smaller or larger. You can, of course, opt for the one that more or less deviates from the recommended one, but – it is very likely that you will be more of a psychotherapist than a partner for your partner, in that case. Those who treat their partners usually come for counseling or psychotherapy.
Interest in a busy, recently or always single man happens to many women, at least once in their life. For that reason, I would say, contemplating these scenarios is in love and more than necessary.
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I notice that many women (really) consider those who are married busy.
According to these women, the one who is in a relationship is still free to choose and change – because he has not signed the paper. As if a married man cannot have the same freedom and take it for himself.
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Personally, I don’t differentiate between men who are busy in one way or another. He is busy who chooses to stay with his partner, whether he likes it or not, whether she is attractive to him or not, whether he is married to her or “only” in a relationship.
I also notice that many women associate being in their mature years with various complications, so they think that mature men are usually or as a rule busy, “go in a package” with this or that aggravating circumstances and will not leave their partners because of those they don’t have yet.
Many women, therefore, consider it completely natural and the only possible to enter into a race with another woman or to fight against her. Unfortunately.
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With what has been written before – yes, more years of life (very likely) means more experience. Where there is a rich life experience – there are also difficult, painful and stories about problems.
However, as things stand with the busyness of mature men, the following is certain: people cheat because they want to cheat, not because they want to get out of a relationship or marriage.
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Those who want to break up or get divorced do so. They do not need someone else or a third party to decide on that step, they just need their own dissatisfaction and disagreement to continue as before.
So, don’t believe someone who says that he will leave his girlfriend or wife after:
a) it comes out of a period of special sensitivity, which in no way affects the dissolution or divorce
b) the two of them finally sit down and talk openly about everything
c) children (still a little) grow up
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Know that he does not need to leave his partner well for you, but for himself. And by no means, but by no means do you agree to the setting of things in which it is up to you to prove yourself worth leaving it.
A busy man is the least risky choice in a situation where you are also busy.
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If, however, you are only with him, and he is with her – it is not at all or it is written in black. Keep in mind everything you need to keep in mind and don’t play like you’re not even twenty.
A man who has recently been single is still, very likely, in a relationship with a partner with whom he is no longer. Psychologically and emotionally speaking.
Like the one who goes from relationship to relationship. If he did not initiate the split – even more so before. This, in turn, means that someone will get over it for a short or long time – while she is with you. That you will listen to stories that are not listened to and be his shoulder to cry on.
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Of course, relationships also mean difficult moments and dealing with content that you don’t face, but – the question to think about is how do you choose to start like that, with a person you barely know or don’t know at all?
How do you decide what you don’t like or what hurts you?
It may work if you were recently left alone. Maybe. Then you can comfort each other and stay together, if you survive your own and the other’s crying.
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A man who recently left his partner may also be single recently. In this sense, a different situation may or may not make a difference.
How that? Well, so for many people, making important life decisions is extremely demanding and difficult, not to say problematic. Many are indecisive and hesitant, never confident and in (panicked) fear in a situation where they need to take responsibility.
The bigger the “bite” – the bigger and later the questioning and suspicion, the “banging of the head”.
Did I hurry, was/the impatient?, What if I regret?, What if I just had to wait / wait a little longer?
Many people are especially troubled by the impression that there is no going back. Of course, there is always a way back and there is, but – the question to think about is how come you would rather go back than forward?
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A man who has recently left his partner, but is not (quite) sure of that decision, can go from his ex-partner to you – while he is with you. With the greatest possible understanding, patience and “tolerance” of yours – the probability will increase that his “walk” will last a long time and the final choice will still fall on her.
Of course, not every communication with his ex threatens the survival of your relationship with him, but clearing up the unresolved, and contemplating reconciliation and giving a second chance to the other – while he is with you – is incorrect and threatening to the relationship he and you are in.
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Here I would underline what I underline whenever I have the opportunity: others have the right to speak and behave as they wish.
It is up to us to set boundaries and not allow the repetition of words and behaviors that make us feel small, insufficient, bad, hurt, offended, or whatever. Silence is agreeing, and with what you agree to – others appreciate that you are okay.
An always free man is one who does not want, ie is not able to bond (both) or one who does not find a suitable partner for a relationship.
The one who does not want, ie. is not able to bind (both) is often promiscuous in relationships that are “schemes”, “variants” and “combinations”. Often, too, the conqueror is at first glance infinitely charming and seductive.
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He is not already on the other, because – he tells the same but empty story, he does not think what he says and does not act in accordance with what has been said. It is not difficult to conquer, but it is impossible to conquer. Everyone who tried was convinced of that, thinking that they would succeed and turn out to be the “only right one”.
Before all women, the conqueror conquers the space of infinite freedom. He sometimes enjoys it. I say sometimes, because – he is not really at peace and happiness regarding the way he lives relations with women.
The latter is a special risk factor for rescuers, emotional wounds, benefactors, women who are not difficult even when it is most difficult, gullible and naive, women with weakened self-confidence and self-esteem, and those who do not believe they deserve love and can be loved.
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With the always free conqueror, you are always and absolutely free, because you are not and cannot be in a relationship. If you want it and it suits you, everything is in perfect order. If you want much more than that, it’s time to move on.
When it comes to a man who is always free because (in no way) he finds a suitable partner for a relationship, the first question is how much he is able to potential, ie. meets the appropriate partner.
Some men are in trouble: they work hard – and they can’t or don’t want to look for a partner at work, they’re locked up and withdrawn, lone wolves, uninterested in or angry with dating apps, have a small circle of friends – who make them like them. men, busy or not, etc.
Therefore, it is objectively harder and harder for these men, and the question is where they can and should start to change – and remain what they are.
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Of course, it is not impossible and it does not have to be a matter of compromise – let what is not pleasant and not an option stay in the same place. There is always more than enough space to work on greater skill, spontaneity and authenticity.
For a man who often has the opportunity to meet a potential partner – and by no means finds a suitable one for the relationship – none of them is like a mother. Sorry – good enough, inspiring, “complete”.
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In the eyes of women, such a man is too demanding and picky and, as such, side by side with the conqueror, he is extremely attractive and interesting to many.
Women like to see and know that a man can, and the (most) desirable are often those with whom they cannot be and stay.
Of course, it only turned out later that not everyone could, but none. But, as long as only the first part of the previous sentence is known – it is considered worthwhile and worth trying. Success would, in that case, be truly extraordinary. But it doesn’t happen.
After all these, read the introductory lines of this column again. As many times as needed. And with them in hand and past experiences in your pocket, embark on a journey of telling new emotional stories. Mind your own business and good luck!
Source: Sito&Rešeto by www.sitoireseto.com.
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